Blogger: Mary Keeley
As September approaches, your thoughts might be turning toward the final push of the year to get your book ready for submission. While you’re consumed with fixing craft issues or articulating convincing solutions for your nonfiction topic, don’t overlook the many little errors that detract from your submission.
Authors who have been published for years fall into some of these errors too, but back when they got their first contract, the market wasn’t as tight. Publishers had a larger editorial staff that was able to work with manuscripts in greater depth. But in today’s publishing economy, overloaded editors often reject proposals based on these same errors, concluding the writer isn’t ready for publication. You can reduce the chance of this happening by correcting common sentence structure and word usage problems. The following 10 tips for a clean manuscript address the most frequent mistakes I see.
Popular errors in word usage:
- Fewer vs. less. Fewer refers to number; less refers to amount or degree. Examples: That jar contains fewer jellybeans. That jar is less full.
- Who vs. whom. Who is the nominative form; whom is the subjective form. Example #1: Who wrote this piece? This piece was written by whom?
- That vs. who/whom. Use that in reference to an object. Use who/whom when referring to a person. Example: John found the book that was in the library. John, who was in the library, found the book.
- That vs. which. A restrictive clause calls for that. Which is used in nonrestrictive clauses and requires a comma in front of it because it’s additional information that doesn’t change the meaning of the sentence. Examples: Sue bought the dress that fit her best. Sue bought the dress that fit her best, which happened to be on sale.
- Anxious or Eager. Anxious is a form of the word anxiety and should be used only in that context. Example: I am anxious about the appointment with my doctor. I am eager to go to the concert.
Sentence structure issues:
- Wrong order of thoughts results in a sentence that’s cumbersome to read and hard to understand the main thought.
- Using the wrong word or phrase stops short of nailing the intended point.
- Packing too much into one sentence becomes a chore for readers when they have to re-read it in order to grasp everything being said.
- Repetition of a word or phrase makes readers bored. It’s best to not repeat a descriptive word within several paragraphs.
- Lack of variation in the length of sentences is okay if you want to put readers to sleep; it’s monotonous. A string of short sentences or incomplete sentences is choppy as well. you’ll lose readers’ attention when you have a string of long sentences.
I confess to being guilty of some of these mistakes myself. Most writers are. Relaxed email and blogging style and abbreviated texting jargon may dull our alertness to these mistakes. But in creative writing for publication, these 10 tips for a clean manuscript might make all the difference in impressing an editor with your professionalism.
What additional word usage errors do you see frequently? Which mistakes are you prone to make? Which ones have been unclear to you until now?
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Hi Mary, I’m wondering what you think about starting a sentence with the word “but”? I just received my manuscript back from my editor with the first round of edits. I had some sentences that started with the word “However,” but she changed each one to begin with the word “But.”
It was my understanding that I shouldn’t begin a sentence with words like “And,” “But,” and “Or.” Did I understand that incorrectly?
Thank you!
Jamie, that rule has been relaxed since a more conversational style of writing has become most popular among readers. Starting a sentence with And, But, and Or is acceptable if not used too frequently. You probably noticed I began two sentences with But in this post.
Great to know. Thanks! (And I actually completely missed that.) 🙂
I’ve never noticed fewer vs. less. I need to see if I am using that correctly.
I always have trouble with using “that” instead of “who” … but I’m getting better at catching it while I am writing.
I notice that I used “have to” instead of “must” quite often. And I just went through my MS parting with “there.” They were usually part of a passive sentence … so I flipped the sentence around giving the actual subject the action. Ex: There was a cat approaching the back porch. The cat approached the back porch.
I like phrases … it’s often a great way to shorten and combine two sentences.
I have grown to love English/grammar … but I always wonder why I can’t get it correct the first time around! Even the tenth time around! How many edits does it take?! One thousand? Really?! 🙂 And this, my first middle grade MS, may be nothing more than a learning curve. But I am learning! 🙂
I’m grateful to have an editor for my articles! 🙂
I have a problem with passive sentences! Until recently, I didn’t realize how bad I am about that.
Oh, don’t we all, Jennifer. It’s acceptable to have an occasional passive sentence when needed to add variation to surrounding sentences. Choose the one that involves the least action.
I always have to look for “was” and “felt” and other passive words when I’m revising too, Shelli. 🙂
Yes … Jeanne, I just did a “was,” a “to,” and a “there” search. Mercy me. My MS is much shorter now! 🙂
Now, if I can just figure out my POV … I may need counseling for that! 🙂
Shelli, thanks for bringing up additional mistakes to watch out for. The learning curve is all about training and often re-training ourselves. Eventually, the correct usage will come naturally. It definitely can be frustrating to find mistakes in multiple edits. But as you mentioned, your manuscript is tighter and better for it. It’s good that editors remain sticklers about these things because it preserves a high quality of writing in the end product.
How many edits?
I won’t answer!
Shelli, thanks for mentioning passive sentences. I’m trying to weed out most of mine in my WIP, and with each self-edit round I’m finding new things to correct…
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
I would add the improper use of jargon to the list.
I’m personally familiar with military and aviation jargon, and often see some fingernails-on-the-chalkboard examples.
In aviation, Tom Wolfe’s book “The Right Stuff” and the movie “Top Gun” shaped cultural conceptions of how aviator, especially military aviators, acted and talked, but they’re pretty far off the mark.
In “The Right Stuff”, Wolfe developed a new lexicon to describe how pilots thought, and while it wasn’t completely wrong, it was and is emphatically NOT how they speak. Hearing his jargon put into words in the movie adaptation made one cringe.
And not all pilots speak in a West Virginia patois, aping Chuck Yeager. Those who do make themselves laughingstocks.
In the military sphere, Tom Clancy is the gold standard for good use of jargon. He didn’t always get it right, but he sounded good, and he avoided glaring errors that would send the book to the library donation bin, unfinished.
Some examples of misuse or misunderstanding that I find troubling –
* Marines have corpsmen, Army has medics.
* Marines have decks, bulkheads and overheads, not floors, walls, and ceilings.
* Special forces personnel were not called “operators” until the phrase was coined during the development of Special Forces Operational Detachment Delta (SFOD/D), otherwise known as “Delta Force”. Delta’s founder, Charlie Beckwith, wanted a distinctive name for his men. It’s caught on in the SEAL community these days, but definitely does not predate the late 70s.
* And speaking of SEALs, SEAL Team Six is no longer the elite counterterrorist group. It was changed to DEVGRU in the 90s.
* You never say ‘repeat’ over the radio; it’s a specialize artillery term meaning “do the last shoot again until I tell you to stop”. If you want a repetition, it’s ‘say again’.
As a counterpart to “The right Stuff”, a lot of the SF jargon used in fiction today was shaped by Richard Marcinko’s memoir of his SEAL days, “Rogue Warrior”. It’s an entertaining read, but it’s more Viet Nam era than modern. Things change.
Wow, Andrew. This is a mini-lesson in itself! Thanks for sharing the accuracies and inaccuracies. It’s fascinating to me.
Whoa, this was an education!
There are cultural mismatches in jargon, as well.
To an individual accustomed to the use of UK nomenclature, an SLR is a Self-Loading Rifle (what an American would call automatic, or semi-automatic).
It seems that in the United States an SLR is a type of camera.
So true about SLR. You made me grin. And, you’re right about differences in culture as well.
I split infinitives like I have a pick ax and an attitude.
Oh, and I use the word ‘and’ at the beginnings of sentences. And I have a problem with ‘but’ and ‘look’.
Thank the Lord that editors see what usages of those are acceptable for dialogue, and what is not.
You’re in good company, Jennifer! Just this morning I read this from Mignon Fogarty’s Grammar Girl book: “It’s fine to split infinitives, and sometimes, I split them when I don’t have to just to maliciously make a point.” 🙂
She goes on to say that the logic behind not splitting infinitives rests on comparing English to Latin. I thought that was interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a grammarian give the okay to split infinitives before. 🙂
The MC in my first book splits infinitives all the time. It also serves to distinguish his voice from his brother’s.
And, because I’m a rebel like that.
I like split infinitives. Isn’t this one? … She walked in to privately view the body.
I just don’t see anything wrong with that.
I think this was someone’s argument … and I don’t think there are any winners.
And I like the word “and” and “but” at the beginning of sentences … not overused … but it seems to emphasize the sentence, in my opinion. 🙂
To innately apprehend the way to gracefully split an infinitive is to thoroughly understand the requirements of the way to properly prepare a report for the Indian Army General Staff.
I will forward your name to Delhi for consideration, Mrs. Major.
Thank you, I’m honoured. I’ll be useless unless I’m tasked with making tea, but very honoured. 😉
*One of the running comedic threads in my first book is the MC’s love of Darjeeling tea. He is Navajo and teases his family that he is the only Indian drinking Indian tea.
Thanks Mary! I love these types of reminders.
You’re welcome, Jennifer.
These are helpful, Mary. “That” and “Which” are confusing for me at times. Your clarification helps.
And I admit to using sentence fragments on occasion.
I’ll have to think about errors I’ve seen in books. None come to mind off the top of my head. Oh, excecpt for when I see a lot of clichés used. That drives me just this side of batty. 🙂
Okay … when they say not to use clichés … does this mean well known clichés, or ordinary clichés, too? Like “he threw all caution to the wind” … is that considered a cliché?
If so … I am in cliché trouble! 🙂
Shelli, I’m sorry to say your example is considered a cliche. Although it might be a perfect fit, editors view those as lazy writing.
I betcha I could drive you further with my annoyance at further and farther.
Jennifer, thanks for adding this one. The further/farther error definitely is annoying. I should have included it in the list, but there just isn’t room for all of them in one blog post.
Farther is used in reference to distance. Further is the right choice for delving deeper into something.
Jeanne, an occasional sentence fragment is acceptable when used intentionally for emphasis.
I’ve caught who’s vs. whose about twenty times as I edit my manuscript this week. I think the apostrophe triggers in my brain as possessive. Also, the repeat use of a word picture. For example: “She was like the pawn being used in his chess game.” And then seeing that repeated a few times throughout the book to make the same point. But then, this is why I also have another set of eyes on my book before I ever press “send” too. No matter how many times I read through it myself, it always comes back red-inked by my line editor partner.
*Snob warning*
Here’s one that’s out there… the subjunctive or optative mood (mode) switches the verb… but it seems to be fading out of use. This indicates how the verb relates to REALITY… is it real, or merely wished for? Is it actual or potential?
It sounds like this…
If I were a rich man…
Would it spoil some vast, eternal plan, if I were a wealthy man?
Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner…
You’d expect “was” instead of “were,” but it’s subjunctive. It’s kind of fading out of English, in favor of the bland “was.” But it indicates a wish or a potentiality as opposed to an actuality. Like I said, it seems to be going away, and I’m going to miss it.
If only we were all better at English! 😀
PS… it’s a father’s delight to hear my 13 year old daughter correct the grammar she hears on TV.
I never thought of this, Bill … interesting. Very interesting. 🙂
Hmmm…excellent points, Bill.
But I have to admit, I was tilting my head and sounding out words at “optative”.
Hey, at least I can read, right?
😉
Excellent, Bill. “Was” is used so commonly now that I sometimes wonder if I’ve missed some English rule change. I continue to hold tightly to “were” in such instances. It clarifies and is nicer language.
Good for your daughter!
I was lucky to have my sister-in-law as one of my beta readers. She not only taught Spanish, but had an excellent background in proper English grammar as she learned other languages. I do believe she caught every was that was meant to be a were. (There’s a poem in there someplace!)
Well, Mary, we are so particular at my home about “less” and “fewer” that my young daughter once told a cashier that the sign should not say “12 items or less”, and she was firm about it! Within a year, every store in one of the midwest’s largest grocery chain changed all their signage. We like to think it was on her suggestion.
Sheila, good for your daughter. It’s fair to say her suggestion may have contributed to maintaining correct language.
Mary, it’s always fun when my son reads something I’ve written and says, “Mom, I think this could use some work. You used ‘eager’ too many times and it made me somewhat anxious.”
For some reason, he takes great pleasure in this. (BTW he misses his fourth graders, but he’s enjoying a new direction. This year, he teaches 6th grade Communication Arts/Reading.) 🙂
Cynthia, what fun to share grammar and writing rules with your son. It sounds like he is well-prepared for communication arts and reading.
Thanks to posts such as this one my grammar is improving. I’m learning and growing. However, I still struggle. As a child I would play hooky from school and go to the library. I read some great books, but looking back I should have included a few books on grammar. 🙂
Jim, I’m glad you find these posts helpful. It’s never too late to add a recent grammar book and the Chicago Manual of Style to your personal library.
I find that when superlatives are over-used, I become weary. Surely not every heroine is winsome and lovely, nor is every male lead character ruggedly handsome, with twinkling blue eyes.
And eventually one must encounter a walleyed horse with a treacherously evil disposition, to at least counterbalance the graceful and loyal steeds we so often meet?
It is said that there cannot be too much of a good thing and that moderation is for cowards, but this maxim does not, I fear, apply to the use of certain literary devices and conventions.
Great point, Surpreet.
Mary, regarding clichés … may we use phrases like “Throwing caution aside” and then proceed with our sentence. Or is that even considered cliché?
Thank you!
Shelli, yes, that’s considered cliche. Try to stay away from all such phrases and create your own, fresh way to communicate the thought.
I thought so … it’s just the way we talk though, isn’t it? But I understand. The writing is cleaner without it.
Thank you, Mary. It made my day to see some of your sentences start with but.
I’ve taken some notes from your post, since I’m in self-editing mode this summer.
Blessings ~ Wendy ❀
Wendy, I hope you enjoy your self-editing. It’s rewarding to see a book shine brighter and become its best as a result.
I love the banter here today.
Lately, I’ve been thinking more about adjectives. My daughter is enthralled with the Schoolhouse Rock TV series. One of her favorite ditties is ‘Unpack Your Adjectives’.
It’s memorable because of the humor and the repetition. And since it’s stuck in my head, I’m more aware of the adjectives I overuse in my own writing.
I love Schoolhouse Rock! “I’m just a bill …” That’s how I learned the Preamble. 🙂
That’s another one of our favorites. Mother approved, for sure.
Great ideas. I started recording my books as part of the final polishing stages. I find recording it even though I am not going to use more than the first chapter, makes me more diligent about reading what’s there than what should be there. I use a red pen on the printed manuscript and make the changes when I’m done.
I’ll send you an email for the macro for word, I love the idea of finding my overused words.
I realize I just posted this on the wrong blog day. 🙂
. . . and please – no digital doggie foot prints on your MS.
AARRGGHH!!!!! The split infinitive brings on a migraine for this old English teacher. While I loved the premise and some of the story lines in Star Trek, I cringed with that opening every time. I never wanted “to boldly go”. But I credit that series with much of the demise of the intact infinitive.
Though I knew these, it is a helpful reminder. My two most overused words are “was” and “thing.” I use my ‘find’ mode on Word to search for those before posting to my blog or submitting. I am also verbose!
Thanks for the reminder.