Blogger: Rachel Kent
Every writer is on a journey and most author journeys are full of ups and downs. For you to have come to the place that you call yourself a writer, read publishing blogs, and let other people read your work, shows that you have had encouragements along your journey that confirmed your desire to write. Yes, I’m sure there have been discouraging times too, but somewhere along your path something or someone built up your confidence in your writing. Some of you might feel more secure than others, just based on where you are right now, but I would love it if you could share one specific moment that stands out in your mind as a time of encouragement. What has happened to you that built up your confidence?
As fellow authors and readers, we have the power to be “encouragers” to those around us. We could provide the tiny bit of confidence it takes for a writer to try to write a book through our words and actions. A compliment about a young writer’s school paper, or delight in a poem written by an unpublished friend, or an encouraging note dropped in the mail to a debut writer, could make a big difference in a dreamer’s life. There’s no need to lie to someone–that just sets a person up for disappointment–but we could all work on being a little more outgoing with our genuine encouragement of others.
What have you done to encourage others? Do you write reviews for books you enjoyed? Do you send emails to authors who’s books have touched you in some way? Have you mentored a young writer?
Do you have any ideas for providing encouragement that you could share with us?
TWEETABLE:
What built up your confidence as a writer? Via lit. agent @RachelLKent Click to tweet.
In 4th grade, our post-Christmas assignment was to write a thank you note. I wrote to my dear aunt and uncle who had been unable to join the traditional family gathering. My letter covered more than my appreciation for their gift. My teacher asked me if she could show my letter to the other teachers. I was flattered and embarrassed–my present included panties. Other people would be thinking about my underwear–o dear!
Two sons are serious writers. For one, I am a cheerleader. The other considers me a critique partner. A step up from checking his homework!
How fun to know your role in each of your sons’ writing life, Shirlee! One of my guys likes to write. The other is good at it but doesn’t enjoy it. 🙂
I love this! Thanks for sharing, Shirlee! 🙂
I will always remember a conversation that was an encouragement to me as a new writer. About 12 years ago, I was blessed to meet a gifted illustrator. She encouraged me to just keep working at the craft, attending workshops, etc. She stated quite simply that if I did not give up, my dream of being published would happen. The path from then to now was not exactly what I expected at that time, but perseverance did pay off.
Thank you, Carol. Your story in itself is encouragement. 🙂
Isn’t it neat how these moments stick with you? 12 years ago, but I bet you can remember every word that was spoken by that encourager. 🙂
My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Baird, returned a book report I’d done in class, on a book I’d already returned to the school library the day we wrote the reports. It was a favorite book I’d read many times so I hadn’t really needed it there beside me to write the report. When she handed it back a day or so later, Mrs. Baird said, “Did you really write this yourself?” I said yes, because I had, right there in front of her a few days ago. Now I suppose I could have taken that remark several ways, but it was the look on her face that left me glowing. It’s one of those shiny memories I can take out and polish now and then, and feel myself that child again sitting in that desk, looking up at my teacher and knowing she thought I wrote well.
🙂 And who knows if you would have ever tried writing without that moment? God put that teacher in your life to change your life.
I had a teacher like that, too.
And yes, you said it well, those are shiny memories.
I love this thought, Rachel! One moment stands out for me. It was my first RWA meeting, and I was really nervous. I’d been writing a romance novel for a few months. Judi McCoy (an amazing contemporary romance author who died a few years ago) was the speaker. We broke into groups to do some plotting exercises. Halfway through the session she stopped by our group and told me I had the mind of a writer.
I never forgot it. It was just the encouragement I needed at that point.
I’m so glad she encouraged you!
Encouragement is so important! I’ve definitely had encouragers along the way. I think the first was from a dear friend who is my first reader for about everything I write. The first time she read my meager attempts on my first book, her words lifted me and told me I could do this. She was gracious enough not to point out all my faults, but she did share some things that would make the story better in her eyes.
Another time I received encouragement (confirmation) was a pivotal time for me in my writing journey. Discouraged, I began questioning if I was doing the right thing. I got two contest finals within a week. It was like God confirmed I was on the right path continuing on this writing journey. I’ve had others encourage me as well, but I won’t write a novel here. 🙂
I think for encouraging others, it’s good to point out the positives we see in their writing and highlight that. Reminding them they can do this is important to. Sometimes hearing fit words at a critical time makes all the difference.
Encouragement is like water in the desert. But mix it with good friends and wisdom, and BAM, you’ve got a tea party.
I’ve tried to let writers I’ve enjoyed know how much I appreciate their work – and they do like the feedback, They don’t get as much as one might expect.
A number of these have stayed in touch, and have, in their turn, encouraged me. And one has become a true friend.
You have definitely encouraged me, Andrew. 🙂 See my comment below.
Blessings, Christine
Andrew, I’ve said it before. You have a true gift for encouraging others. Thank you for that.
Jeanne, thank you. Life is about giving. It’s what I try to do.
You encourage everyone here!
You’re EXCELLENT at encouraging others, Andrew!
When I was writing for an on-line magazine, the editor (of that same on-line magazine and a hard copy magazine) said she had been following and enjoying my work and asked if I would be willing to write for the hard copy magazine. Sweet and timely encouragement.
When my girls write, I always try to brag on them first … then slip in a few ways to improve. The bragging seems to lift their spirits … the smiles reveal that … and the “ways to improve” doesn’t seem to hurt as much. My oldest always wants to read her papers out loud, so I know she is feeling confident. 🙂
Wow! How wonderful that she asked you to write for the magazine. That definite affirmation in your ability / talent as a writer.
I agree, Shelli, in regards to the way you give feedback to your daughters. Sometimes people think all that should be commented on is that which needs improved. In fact, I have a writing professor who slammed me the other day for telling a writer what she did well (along with a couple suggestions on what could be improved). She said, “That’s not what we’re here for. Telling someone ‘This worked well’ is entirely useless.” Well, I entirely disagree. I think in critique we need to help what needs improved AND what works. Hearing what works not only softens the blow when you discover that the manuscript isn’t perfect (of course it’s not, though don’t all of us want it to be?), but when you hear what DOES work, you get a clearer picture of what you should be doing in order to write a successful story or book.
Yes, Christine … I so agree. It’s good to know what is working as well as what isn’t. 🙂
I’m so sorry that woman blasted you, Christine. She should not be a teacher. She has no conception of the word. These are the types of people who are dream killers, not encouragers. I really hope you can get out of her class and never take one from her again.
Yes, Shelli. It helps a lot. One of my classmates said to me, “I know I need to know what I’ve done wrong but the critique [in this particular class] makes me feel like ‘Gee, don’t I EVER do anything right.'”
Your daughters are blessed to have a mother who understands the how important encouragement is.
Thank you, Wanda. I appreciate your compassion. God has gotten me through it. There’s only one month left in the semester and, since I started early, I have no more submissions to make. I do pray, though, that I don’t end up with her as my thesis adviser.
Thanks again for your affirmation. 🙂
Your girls are going to be amazing women, you do so well building up their hearts and their self-worth.
This is easy, because it just happened! After a discouraging week of several “thanks but, no thanks” query responses, I stumbled on NYC Agent Janet Reid’s blog. She was sponsoring a short (100 word) story contest, which I entered on a whim (she doesn’t even represent MG fiction, so I had no hope of impressing a potential agent).
When the winners were posted, I WON! And Janet commented that it was “A masterpiece of understated, elegant story telling.”
Boy, I need to hear that! I got busy and rewrote the first four chapters of my manuscript and had the wherewithal to press on.
I also discovered that her blog (and QueryShark) is a treasure house of query information. http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/
Congratulations! I love the phrase “understated, elegant story telling.” Wishing you the best as you finish your story.
Yay, Sheila!!
Congratualtions, Sheila! That’s quite an accomplishment. Even being able to write a complete story in 100 words is impressive, then to win on top of it…excellent work! 🙂
What a blessing, Sheila! Celebrating with you.
🙂 Yay! I’m glad you were encouraged this week!
That’s fantastic! Congratulations!!
My twenty-something daughter shared a few chapters of my WIP with several of her friends. They continue (several years later) to ask her if I’m still writing and tell her they’d like to see more at some point. This was and is great encouragement, as they’re the audience I’m writing for. I try to encourage other writers by praising the good I see in their work. I know how fragile my confidence was a few years back, and don’t want to be the one to blight anyone’s hopes.
Betsy, when your target audience loves what you do and wants more, what better affirmation could a writer ask for?
In my high school AP English class, one of our assignments near the end of the year was a personal essay. Our teacher read each one aloud to the class, made only positive comments, and gave us all As. Class that day was a celebration!
Two friends who had read my first completed (still unpublished) manuscript attended the same youth group event. Apparently they spent most of the time talking about my story. They begged me to write a sequel. Because of their encouragement, I wrote another story–not quite a sequel but based on one of the characters. That manuscript won Genesis a few years. Tyndale published it as an ebook in 2013 and the print edition releases next summer. All because of two friends who loved one of my stories so much they demanded I write another.
Johnnie, that’s awesome! 🙂
That’s a wonderful story, Johnnie. Thank you for sharing it.
I love this story, Johnnie. What an encouragement for you! 🙂
🙂
I’ve had so many moments where God sent someone swooping in to encourage me whether it was a friend asking me when the book’s coming out, or a fellow writer telling me that I can do it. God has provided what I need when I needed it most.
My husband has been telling me for 25 years that I should write, that I could write and that he knew I’d be better than I thought I’d be. But always, I didn’t have time. My 4 kids range in age from 24 to 11. So, no, there was never any time.
But THE moment I knew I had the wings to try this gig?
Late one December night, in 2011, and only few nights after I VERY secretly began to put story to the page, I snuck upstairs to our room for some reason, which I cannot remember. Anyway, I tiptoed in and was as quiet as I could be. It was at least 2am, if not worse. And then, out of the supposed solitude of the darkness, my husband’s voice chilled me to the core.
“WHAT are you doing on Facebook at this time of night?”
Now, I had NEVER EVER heard him this angry. There was a cold fury in his voice that actually scared me. He’s a bit of an Ice Man to start with. This was BAD.
“I’mmm nnnnot on Fffacebook.”
“Then WHAT could you possibly being doing, for hours each night, online? Huh?”
I was so scared. Mostly, I was afraid he’d scoff and tell me to get it together and that I make great cheesecake, but that was my only talent.
“Well? WHAT are you doing?”
Deep breath.
“I…I started writing a…a book.”
Silence. I was SO scared.
“It’s about time!”
He went on to encourage me and tell me how happy he was that I’d FINALLY started writing. And I could just about feel him clip those wings on. He’s so proud of me, it blows my mind.
You’re blessed to have a husband who encouraged you (even if he terrified you in that moment) to follow your dream when you didn’t quite believe in yourself. You did and now you’re agented and your dream has become a reality. Give that man chocolate! 😉
I still get a happy tear for you when I read this story. Having an encouraging, supportive spouse is one of the best gifts God gives a writer, I think. 🙂
I love it, Jennifer! And I can’t imagine you afraid of anyone! 🙂 Bugs, yes … people? No! 🙂
Loved reading this, Jennifer!
Jennifer.
You have no idea how lucky you are.
Aw…I love this!
Thank you, Rachel, for this post. All of us need affirmation, and it’s great to encourage encouragement.
I’m going to start with your last question first. What have I done to encourage others? First, I teach Developmental Writing, which means I teach writing to college students whose skills aren’t up to freshman college level. Generally, my students HATE to write, primarily because their confidence in their ability to write has been ripped to shreds over the years. I give tons of feedback on papers, making sure to comment on what is good as well as what needs improvement. In the beginning, I grade very gently (the worse grade I give on the first paper is a C), and tell the students that the grading will get tougher as the semester progresses because I expect them to learn from their mistakes. I emphasize that good writing is a skill that can be learned through study and practice. It’s wonderful to see not only their writing improve over the semester, but to see their confidence increase. Some, by the end of the course, have become so enthusiastic about writing that they have decided to start writing short stories for the fun of it. Those students had the talent all along, but didn’t know how to use it. A lack of education in grammar often has been the biggest obstacle in their way. They’ve received papers with red ink all over them circling the grammar errors without one word about how good the content was.
How have I received encouragement? Certainly, I have received it from you, the other B&S agents, and many members of this blog community. Thank you and blessings to all of you. In terms of a specific episode, I want to thank Andrew, who gave me encouragement a couple of months ago at a time when my confidence in my skills as a writer was very low. Currently, I am pursuing an MFA in Creative Writing and I made the mistake of volunteering to be one of three people in my Fiction Workshop course to hand in a submission on the first day of class. Before we shared our drafts with the class, the professor asked us to state what our novels were about. I said that I was writing a YA fantasy about a teenage faerie who takes banned path. She then finds herself embroiled in a political plot that places not only her, but her family and her homeland in danger. The professor immediately informed me that she had a “complex relationship” with genre and had never allowed it in her class before. She went on to say that good fiction is about characters and that fantasy is “just about faeries and dragons and things.” I met with her a couple of days later to see if, for future submissions, I could use chapters from my other novel which is written for an adult audience, is set in the “real world,” and is more “literary.” She told me at that point (after reading my submission) that she wanted me to stay with the fantasy and that my writing is “quite good and flows well.” In the meantime, however, I had asked for prayers from this community and Andrew told me that, from what he’d read from my posts here, that I could write well and had nothing to worry about.
So, Andrew, I want to thank you again for the encouragement. Not only did you help me feel better in the moment, but you enabled me to go into the conference with the professor knowing that her personal dislike of “genre” didn’t mean I was inept as a writer.
Always encourage and affirm. You never know where a person is at emotionally / psychologically. One positive comment might be all it takes to keep a person from despair.
Blessings,
Christine
Wonderful, Christine. Andrew is such an encourager. One of his encouraging comments to me … I copied and pasted it as a draft on my blog. Every time I open to write, I see it. 🙂
You are a great at affirming as well, Shelli. Thank you for your compassion.
Christine, I loved reading the beautiful way you encourage your students. You must be a gifted teacher to see them progress in confidence and to grow to enjoy writing so much. 🙂
Thank you, Jeanne. I just get so much joy from writing, I want to pass that on to others, especially to those who have been wounded by constant criticism. I also love to teach. I thank God for giving me those gifts and for the opportunity to share them.
By the way, you are wonderful at encouraging. Thank you for your gentle kindness. 🙂
Christine, thank you so much. Your kind comment came at just the right moment to be very, very uplifting.
Andrew,
I’m so glad that the comment came at the right time–as yours did for me.
Many blessings. 🙂
You are a very valued part of our community here, too, Christine! Thank you for giving of yourself to help others. 🙂
Thank you, Rachel. You made me cry (good tears). 🙂
And thank you for your time and for giving so much to others. You are always affirming and you set a very positive tone for this blog. Today’s post, though, obviously really resonated with everyone. Thank you for it.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Oh this made me want to cry! Your students are SO blessed!!
And this place is like sitting around the kitchen table and talking through all kinds of stuff, isn’t it?
Thank you, Jennifer. 🙂 And yes it is like sitting around the kitchen table. This community is so loving and supportive, it’s amazing–and you have been one of my chief encouragers / supporters from early on. Thank you. Many blessings!
That time I got a picture book ms. back in the mail and it wasn’t a yes, but the editor had written A++++ across the top.
That rejection letter where the agent said she loved loved loved my writing.
That amazing day where my son’s 1st grade teacher asked me to bring in the book that included my chapter in it and read it for the class. My blonde son introduced me. “My mom writes and writes and writes and writes and no one publishes her…ever!” I pointed to the book that help my chapter…”Except for that.” I loved it! I didn’t even know if he knew that I wrote, I hardly talked about it. But that he got the idea of my work through discouraging times was priceless.
I love this Kristen! I have three boys also who know I’m “writing a book.” When a friend published his second book in two years my son said to me, “He must write a lot faster than you.” Indeed. 🙂
It’s so cool when we can observe how our kids see us, isn’t it? He sounds like quite the boy, and so proud of his Mom.
When acquaintances or friends of friends tell me my latest post made them feel like someone understood what they are going through, I know I’m doing something right. When my vulnerability encourages confidence in my readers, it pushes me to keep writing.
Knowing that someone understands us is a HUGE thing. And so is being vulnerable enough to share your heart. Well done.
What a lovely thing it was to remember this! I wrote a letter to President John F. Kennedy when I was about 10-years-old, and got an answer, rather quickly, a few weeks later.
I’m not sure he “wrote” it, but it bore his signature. And it was such a magic moment when my mother walked into my room holding up an envelope from “The White House.” She was a bit taken aback, but I was thrilled.
Realizing that my words were powerful enough to be noticed by the President gave me the gumption to write more letters and to begin writing stories and “articles,” too.
I sold my first article to Rolling Stone while still in college, and went on to be a reporter for the Chicago Sun Times, too.
Cynthia, this is fantastic! No wonder you were encouraged. A little can go a long way.
How wonderful! 🙂
Wow. Just so much WOW!
When my book, Looking for Jimmy Stewart, was published my self-confidence hit the road. I was anxious if I got any reviews would they be kind. After waiting a month to check if I had received any reviews I found I had, and they were all good. That was the shot in the arm I needed. Now, in the midst of my 3rd book, I’m one energized writer.
I had invested the money to attend the Mount Hermon conference for the first time and wondered if I was wasting it. I’d been published a few times, but was I really a writer. A few days later I got a letter from a magazine asking permission to republish something I’d written for them about six years earlier. That was exactly the affirmation I needed!
Believe it or not, it was an agent’s rejection letter. It was beautiful, and I wish it hadn’t been lost when I changed my email server information.
She rejected the novel because she didn’t believe she could sell it then said it was one of the most unique novels she’d ever read and that I should never quit writing and trying to get my stuff out there.
So I haven’t quit. And I doubt I ever will.
Encouragement, according to Romans 12:8, is a spiritual gift that many have been given and all are called to express. I love encouraging others, particularly in telling other people of new books written by colleagues that I believe will make a a difference. Many of my colleagues have done the same favour to me in telling others about my new book Restoring Health: body, mind and spirit. I am very grateful for good friends and fellow authors.
The Rev. Dr. Ed Hird
http://edhird.com
Thank you, Reverend Hird! 🙂 I love that verse!
My sister, who was an English literature major and is an accomplished writer herself, read a short story of mine and loved it. She is careful with her compliments, so praise from her has stayed with me and gives me fuel to keep going.
Not until college did I have English teachers who gave constructive feedback mixed with a liberal amount of encouragement.
I still remember being motivated by the regular notes one of my instructors left in the margins of my papers.
I thought, “I can do this. I can evoke an emotional response in the reader that produces a connection. My words have power for good.”
I went on to write for the church newsletter, submit to poetry contests, and more recently, have some of my words published with DaySpring cards.
When I read a book that makes an indelible impact, I make an effort to connect with the author by sending them images that remind me of their story world or one of their characters. And of course, I spread the good news, and ask others to buy the book.
You have a way with words that is so distinct and beautiful.
Internal encouragement came the day I turned in my thesis for my master’s degree–it was a landmark that told me I had a good mind and I could write despite what pesky inner voices told me.
External encouragement came the day I got my first book contract. Woo hoo! Someone thought people would want to READ my stuff!
One bit of encouraging others I hope to do more of was posting a positive review on Goodreads and tweeting the link to the author.
One year at a writers conference, I took a mentoring class and after working with me all week my mentor said, “You’ve got what it takes, kid.” Believe me, I hold on to those words whenever I’m writing! Right now I’m mentoring a writing friend who I hope to encourage as much as my writing mentor encouraged me. Writers receive so many rejections that it’s nice to hear sweet words of hope! 🙂
God is the one who gave me my biggest piece of encouragement, although it came through a man and he had no idea I’d put my desperate plea out to our Great Creator.
I’d sent a story to a national magazine, and told God if he wanted me to continue writing, they would have to print it.
Instead, He had one of the editors call me–on the phone–a writer he’d never heard of, at a time when editors often did not even send out a typed rejection slip, and the first words out of his mouth were, “You are a Wonderful writer! You must never quit writing!”
I’ve never forgotten that and thank God for it still, after all these years.
A couple of years ago, I looked up an author I loved and found her blog on the internet. To my astonishment, she had written how she hadn’t had anything published in some time and was wondering if she should even try to keep writing. This women is Famous and has written books, children’s books, plays, scripts, how in the world could she be so downtrodden?
I tossed proper decorum to the winds and sent her a message telling her what a wonderful writer she was, how I loved her books and to keep writing. Imagine my astonishment when I received an email from her saying that my note had such an impact on her that she’d printed it out and put it up by her computer where she could read it every day!
I’m so thankful I didn’t cave in to that voice telling me I had no business writing her, that she would just toss it out with the rest of her messages.
A while ago, I saw an article on the web talking about the success of writers who had been told their writing was great and to keep on versus ones who’d been critiqued with telling only the things that were wrong and this was terrible, and that was awful and they had to change this and that etc.
Maybe you know that piece, Rachel. It showed how the “wrong” writers did much less than the “positive” writers. So sad to me.
So my idea to provide encouragement is….tell them it’s great. Tell them you love it. Tell them to write some more. And tell them, you are so proud of them. Amen
I love this.
Wanda,
I’m so glad that God sent you the message via the editor not to give up. And I’m not at all surprised that the famous writer contacted you. You may have been the voice that saved her from complete despair. God bless you for taking the risk to reach out to her.
Thank you so much, both Jennifer and Christine. I really appreciate your kind words. May God keep blessing you with the books you love to write and great success in getting them published.
Thanks for such a wonderful post! Writing is an isolated profession. It is definitely not for the faint of heart.
I always try to encourage other writers. I RT/forward tweets, emails etc. I write book reviews. I write notes/answer emails. I post useful tips, quotes etc. to encourage others. It isn’t easy to be encouraging/be encouraged.
I’ve been writing free lance for over 30 years. I’ve had good times and bad times. The worst was when I began writing novels. That was a dark moment. I almost gave up writing completely. I saw an episode of the Piers Morgan show with author Jackie Collins. The woman loves to write. Her enthusiasm was contagious. I wrote her a note and thanked her for her contagious encouragement. She was kind enough to write back with a signed photo and words of encouragement. I’ve been writing steadily, sold my first novel, which is due for release next year and I haven’t looked back. Whenever I get a chance to encourage another writer, I do it. Pass it forward; I always say. Thanks for allowing me to share.
Regards,
SJ Francis
I started writing not two years ago. Started out just for something to do in my off-time; I’m an RN. After finishing a few chapters I was curious what people thought of my writing. I let some of the girls at work read my material. They all said it was great…but were they just telling me what my itching ears wanted to hear? Were they really thinking, “This guy can write like I can do rocket science…” Then I finally broke down and let my wife read it. You see, my wife will tell me what I need to hear! If it wasn’t good she’d say (in a nice way), “Don’t give up your day job, Dave.” Low and behold if she didn’t wake me and tell me how she loved it and thought I should get published! 8 months later, my first book was complete….still waiting to get published–but complete nonetheless! My wife’s words were the inspiration I needed to strive on!
I had Jamie Langston Turner (author) for a creative and poetry writing teacher in college. I still remember turning in my short story and having her final comment be “I’d like a signed copy of your first book.”
Full circle moment–I just went back to my Alma Mater to talk to creative writing students and my teacher sat in on my class! I was so thrilled to talk with her (she has a new book out too!) and just savor that moment God blessed me with! She was going to buy my book but I made her take a free, signed copy! 🙂
I have been writing for a long time and publishing intermittently while teaching high school and college English. Other than writing with them,I seldom mentioned my own writing to my students for I was focused on developing them as writers. Then during a series of chemotherapy treatments, I told my students that a positive result from breast cancer was that I had written a book! They were overjoyed that I had done so and wanted me to read it to them. I read a chapter about how my grandmother had been so influential in leading me to discover writing. I felt a surge of encouragement, as though my grandmother had reappeared in the form of all my students.
At the risk of sounding full of myself, I am encouraged every time I read a mediocre book published traditionally. “If this could get published”, I think, “then there’s hope for me!”
The day I first met “Serendipity”. I knew I was going to write for the rest of my life. She has never let me down.
“Serendipity”.
1.An aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.
2.Good fortune; luck: