Blogger: Rachel Kent
Many of you are gearing up to attend the ACFW (American Christian Fiction Writers) Conference next week,and I’m sure some of you are nervous about the conference.
Will you be able to meet with that editor or agent you are dying to connect with? Will your appointments go well? Will the conference be worth it? Will you have anyone to hang out with?
To help you to make the most of the conference (or any conference, really), I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone a little bit and focus on connecting with the other writers who are there, too. You will meet with agents and editors, but the best encouragers and cheerleaders are fellow writers.
Some of you have friends going whom you are excited to meet up with, but use this opportunity to be a friend to those who aren’t in your specific group. There are so many benefits to this!
First, reaching out to someone who looks scared or lonely could be what makes or breaks the conference for the other person. We’ve all been that new, scared person, and we know how helpful it is when someone takes us under her wing and shows us the ropes. Inviting a person you don’t know to eat a meal with you is a great way to get to know them and to welcome them.
Another benefit to making the effort to meet more conferees is the opportunity to network. You can learn so much from those around you, and many opportunities are opened up through networking. Perhaps you’ll find someone with similar interests, and you could guest blog for each other. Or you might find a group of people to create a novella collection with. Or perhaps you could find a great critique partner. And the people you meet might know other people you should meet after they get to know you. There are so many great things that can happen because of networking.
If you are scared of approaching people, remember YOU have so much to offer as well. You can be a comforter, a critique partner, a teacher, a friend. You don’t need to go around asking people for things, but instead you can offer them a listening ear and let the friendships and networks grow naturally.
I pray you all have a wonderful time at your next conference, and I look forward to hearing from you about the connections you make.
What are you most nervous about before conferences?
Is it easy or hard for you to approach people you don’t know to get to know them better?
I love conferences, and am still hoping for a miracle that will let me attend ACFW this year. C’mon, God, let’s GO!
When, in a previous life, I went to engineering conferences, my standard way to break the ice with a stranger was, “Hi, I’m Andrew, fancy a beer?”
Probably not the best strategy at ACFW.
But the thing is, just go up to someone, and say hi, give your name, and suggest a coffee. Or Earl Grey.
He or she will probably be delighted that you asked, and even if there’s a previous engagement and they have to decline, you’ll have made someone’s day.
On the rare occasion that you get a rude brush-off…and engineers can be GOOD at this…hey, their loss. Shake the dust off your feet as a testimony against them (and maybe sprinkle some in their coffee, Ha!).
I would love to be there. I would love to look you guys in the eye and tell you what a difference you’ve made, encouraging me through some dark, dark weeks and months.
Pitching my book is secondary. The thanks, the care, the community – that’s what it’s all about.
Andrew, I love your idea. It takes a little courage to step out of a comfort zone, but when we can look for ways to bright another’s day? It’s worth it. So glad you shared your way of doing this. 🙂
Jeanne, you hit it dead on – it’s about being a light for someone else.
When one looks at it that way, reaching out is so much easier.
After all, there is no “I” in “reaching out”.
Oh. Yeah, there is. Well, pretend it’s not there.
I don’t see “I” … but, I see “U” … 🙂
Thank you, Andrew.
There is a Starbucks at the conference hotel this year! Suggesting tea or coffee would work great.
Funny thought: A group of engineers and a group of writers together would make for a very interesting conference! 🙂
You are always an encouragement to us, too, Andrew.
I love conferences! I’m sad I’ll be missing ACFW this year. All your advice is perfect. It’s definitely worth it to make an effort and introduce yourself to anyone you don’t know. And if you’re super shy, cozy up to an outgoing group. Chances are, one will strike up a conversation with you (guilty!!) and soon you’ll be part of the group, too!
We need to start a support group for the ones who can’t make it this year. I’ll pour the coffee, you bring the giggles! I’m smiling already, Jill! 🙂
Yes, a support group!! I am sad to be missing ACFW this year as well, but circumstances being what they are, it has worked for the best.
I don’t do well in crowds – AT ALL – so some parts of conference are hard for me, especially meals. I encourage the reaching out part. It’s always great to have someone to talk to when you’re new and unsure about the whole thing. Pace yourself and don’t try to cram everything in if you are starting to feel tired or overwhelmed. I used to think I had to attend every single session, but sometimes it’s better to take a break if you need to.
Most of all, remember to have fun. The learning is great, but making connections and lasting friendships is so much better.
I’m not going this year either. Rachelle and Wendy will be there for the agency.
I’ll join the party here!
If you get to that conference and think “No one will want to meet me.” You won’t be alone in that thought!But you’ll stay alone if you don’t leave your room, trust me.
Last year’s ACFW was my first, and I can still remember riding the glass walled elevator, on Thursday night, down to the lobby and wanting to HURL. All these REAL writers and industry people.
And me?
I was certain someone would point a finger and yell “Imposter!”. Until I got off the elevator and saw my friend and mentor, Beth Vogt. Then I got wrapped in a rib crushing hug, and once I could breathe again, I dove into the weekend.
Oh, and ladies…and KISS fans…
WATERPROOF mascara!!!!!
I remember meeting you in that elevator! I kept thinking, “Gee, I know I KNOW her!” I didn’t want to seem obvious by staring! So tickled and blessed to finally meet the vivacious Jennifer Major! (Beautiful heart, beautiful girl.) 🙂
Yes! And that was the night we went out for dinner and had that charming waiter. I think I had a burger. I think. I do remember you were SO NICE to me and calmed my nerves a great deal.I loved your accent. And hearing about life in your neck of the woods.
And thank you for the compliment. (Blushes)
Thank you for sharing this! This anxiety is exactly what I’m trying to help people overcome with my post.
🙂
Good Morning, Rachel!
I LOVE the ACFW conference! For the first time in three years I’ll miss this one, but I’ll be praying for all my friends and the conference attendees.
For those who’ve never attended, you’re in for a treat! So. Much. Fun!!! So much laughter, hugging, praise, and learning going on you won’t have time to be nervous. New attendees may find it helpful to sit in on the Newcomers Session, a precursor to the conference. Very helpful.
I enjoy meeting new people and making new friends. I can always find something to talk about. The key is not to be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. At the end of the day, we’re all just folks who share the same bond: we love Jesus, each other, and this writing craft. How wonderful to navigate the course together!
I second you! It was a BLAST! Going there, I felt like I found my home. People got each other and didn’t blink twice when you said “Seriously, the best way to hide a dead body is…” to your friends in the restroom.
Great advice, Rachel! I’m still kicking myself for one big writers conference I attended where I was too afraid to really meet and connect with writers. The last time I went to a conference was better, but networking is still something I need to work on.
My dream is to go to ACFW someday…I hope everyone who gets to go has a great time.
Networking is hard for me, too. As an agent, I have people coming up to me all the time, but if I were there as a writer I would have to force myself to talk to people.
Getting out of a comfort zone is a choice. It’s not easy for me to get out of my insecurity in a new situation to reach out to someone else. But, I’m learning to do it. And when I do, I always meet great people.
Looking beyond me to those who I might be able to encourage or brighten their day is my goal for this year’s ACFW. Looking for those who seem alone and saying hello, or as Andrew suggested, inviting them for a cup of coffee or tea is something I plan to do.
Those people who will share God’s divine appointments with you will be BLESSED!!!!
Yay! This makes me so happy. Thank you, Jeanne.
Great advice Rachel. A friend surprised me and sent me to the ACFW conference two years ago and of course I hoped to get an agent or sell a book. But the very best most valuable thing I got out of that conference was a critique partner. I’d been trying to find a critique partner for 11 years and it just never worked, but someone saw my name tag across the room and ran over.
“You write YA?”
“Um…yes.” I look down at my tag realizing how she’d known.
“My friend writes YA!” She reaches over and yanks her friend forward by the arm. Friend cringes and smiles at me. “You guys should be critique partners!!!”
“Um…I just tried that and I edited my friends 42 page book proposal for her and she took 8 months to get my 16 page story back to me.”
“My friend would never ever do that. She is awesome!!!!!”
“Um…OK.” And I write down my e-mail address and hand it over.
And thus I got the most awesome critique partner ever. She gets right back to me, her red pen is brutal, and she is very encouraging. I am such a better writer because of her. So yay for meeting people at conferences!
Great example! Thank you for sharing.
Volunteering is a great way to get involved. This year I’ll be working the registration desk and hosting a workshop, each for the third time. Even though I only introduce the speaker, getting up in front of a group is way out of my comfort zone. And the registration desk is the perfect place to put faces to names and say a few words.
Very true! And conferences are always in need of extra help!
Love this post! And — great minds — I wrote a post encouraging others to reach out at conference this week, too! 🙂 Wish you were coming!
I wish I was too, but I’ll be rooting for you from home.
HBD to your adorable one!
I’m a huge fan of writers’ conferences, so I’m sad I’m missing ACFW this year.
At my first big conference, Mount Hermon, I was a complete newbie unsure if I should even be writing. I came to meet agents and editors – and I did. But more importantly, I made friends with other writers, from seasoned pros to fellow newbies. I had no idea at that time that those friends would become my support team, my critique partners, and my dearest friends. Now many of those fellow newbies are fellow published authors, and we love promoting each other’s books! Plus, we have friends to help us “keep it real” – because we remember each other back when…
So yes, step out of yourself, fellow introverts! Smile. Say hello. Ask some questions. You might make a lifelong friend!
And let not age differences hinder you! Sarah (you youngster, you) I’ll never forget dashing through the sprinklers walking back from dinner with you and Laura Frantz! Fun times!
Linda, great reminder! At the very first conference I attended Karen O’Connor came up to me and made me feel welcome and a lot less nervous. She didn’t look down on me because I was a young, new agent at all. I will always remember her kindness at that conference. 🙂
And Karen is always like that. She is a gem!
It’s always helpful to have those friends who “knew us when…”
Thanks for sharing your story, Sarah!
I remember going to ACFW for the first time in Dallas two years ago. I was so nervous! I walked into the lobby and glanced over and saw the whole My Book Therapy staff eating in the restaurant. I had “met” almost everyone online, but not in person. I sensed if I had gone up to the table, I would have been welcomed with open arms, but I was too chicken! Instead, I sat by myself in the lobby until my roommates arrived (had never met them, either). From that moment on, it was like an avalanche of introductions and I didn’t stop talking for the rest of the conference. I quickly learned I needed to step outside my comfort zone, because the moment I did, I was surrounded by friends. This year, I’m still a little nervous, but nothing like the first year. I’m so excited to see old friends and make new ones. Networking is my favorite part of the conference!
I hope you have a wonderful time! 🙂
I love conferences. I’ve connected with so many wonderful people this way. I make a point of sitting at a table where I know no one or only one person so that I can learn what other people are writing. That gets harder when you attend the same small local conference each year. I’m hoping to attend a different conference next year if I can afford it so that I will be more closely aligned to my market.
The small conferences are great too, but you are right that the same people seem to attend them every year.
Like Andrew, I attended engineering conferences in a previous life where having a beer together was the default ice breaker. Being somewhat of an introvert, I didn’t really enjoy those conferences, so I confess to being somewhat intimidated about this year’s ACFW conference…where I don’t know a single attendee.
Still, I have a strategy. I count all fellow believers to be brothers or sisters in Christ, so I am considering the ACFW conference as a family reunion. I will simply be meeting some of my family, starting at the First Time Attendees session on Thursday.
How scary can that be?
That’s a wonderful perspective, Bill! I’ll try to remember that. This post is a wonderful and timely reminder for me to get out of my comfort zone at ACFW this year (which should be helped by the fact that, for the first time, none of my critique partners will be there to hold my hand!), focus on others, and see what God will do. Thank you, Rachel! Blessings to all, whether I see you at the conference or the Lord has you staying home this year. 🙂
Bill, beautiful way to view it! I’ll remember that.
Joe!! 🙂 There’s no excuse for me! 🙂
Great way to think about it, Joe! Or should I say brother? 🙂
Hi, Joe,
I’ll be looking for you at the ACFW conference. Having had no siblings growing up, I treasure all the brothers and sisters I can acquire.
I’ve been wanting to attend for some time, but I feel like a real imposter here. I edit fiction, but my own novel lies a mouldering in bits and pieces. I hope to get some real help to put it together from the sessions I’ll be attending. See you next week.
Judith,
Sounds like a plan! I am looking forward to meeting you.
I’m no longer an ACFW member, but my seven conferences I went to will always be some of my most cherished memories.
I met my crit partner in 2008 in a late night chat with Susie Warren. All because I worked up the nerve to stand up and say something to help her out with her plotting problem. That specific book is now out and dedicated to me.
Last year was a little weird. I kind of knew it would be my last one, and every time I turned around it was confirmation that moving into the secular market is the right choice for me. It was amazing. And I learned so much in Jim Bell’s class that’s helped me take my writing to the next level. Then there was the late night brainstorming with my roomie, and watching Chip MacGregor draw on the bottom of my foot.
I’m sad I’m not going to a conference at all this year. But also excited because next year I’m going to RWA for the first time!
I hope you have a great time at RWA next year! 🙂 I’ve been to RWA once when it was in San Francisco.
There was A LOT of chocolate available.
The first time I went to Mount Hermon I was scared no publisher would like my work, but the first person I met was an accomplished ABA author who was afraid no CBA publisher would ever take her books. That gave me some confidence. And then I discovered editors and those other Important People didn’t glow in the dark and were ordinary human beings like me! I also made some wonderful friends and have kept in touch with some of them for decades.
Yes, just about everyone is insecure about something and those who aren’t maybe should be? 🙂
I’m glad you had a great time.
I agree with Cheryl…sitting at a table with folks you don’t know is a great opportunity.
In my previous life I attended many healthcare conferences, both as a conferee and a vendor. I’ve discovered that one of the most enjoyable ways for me to break the ice with a stranger is to find something about that person to genuinely compliment.
“That is a beautiful pendant!” or “Wow, that’s a great color…turquoise is my favorite!”
People appreciate hearing sincere compliments, and often go above and beyond a ‘Thank you’…
“Oh yes, the pendant is a family heirloom, given to me by my Great Aunt Agatha, the mystery writer” or “I love turquoise, too, but I’m a ‘Winter’, so probably breaking some kind of fashion commandment!”
Then you’re off and running…
Enjoy the conference, everyone! It should be beautiful in St. Louis…GO BILLIKENS!
(Yes, I’m a Saint Louis University grad… just don’t ask me to explain what a Billiken is!)
Great suggestions!
I won’t be going this year … but I do hope to go next year. I know I’ll be scared, and I know I’ll be crying … meeting people for the first time. People who are making this writing walk a beautiful thing.
Well, I’ll be there next year, and I will do my best to turn your tears into tears of laughter with my Weird Dog Impressions.
Having 26 of ’em (a total of 103 paws!) I have a LOT of comedic material from which to draw.
Yes, 103 paws. One of them has three lags.
I’m glad you get to go next year too, Andrew.
I know you will, Andrew!
I can’t wait! 🙂
🙂 I hope you get to go next year!
I’m hoping to attend Word Vancouver this coming Saturday and Sunday. However, as an introvert, I wasn’t looking forward to the crowds. Your article gave me a new focus–instead of thinking about how uncomfortable I am, help someone else feel comfortable. Thank you for your wise words, Rachel.
I’m most concerned with the scheduled interviews due to the short time allocated. The best advice I can offer is to relax,be yourself and trust that God will make sure you connect with the correct people.
Bluer than blue to be missing ACFW this year. Sending you wishes on the wind and looking forward to all your tales from the front!
I don’t write fiction; but you all are making this conference sound like so much fun in these comments, I’m thinking maybe I should start. 😉