On September 11, I ordered a book that I thought might be a good one for my 8-year-old daughter to read to help her discover what happened on 9/11/2001. She’s reading at a 5th grade level, so I got the book because it’s in her AR reading level. (AR levels are standardized levels to help parents pick books to challenge their kids.) Because it is a book about a sensitive historical event, I decided to screen it by reading it first. I’m glad I did. It is a beautiful book and story, but it was a bit too “old” for my 2nd grader. T
he book is Towers Falling by Jewell Parker Rhodes. I would recommend this book for 5th and 6th graders as a way to introduce them to what happened on 9/11 and I even enjoyed it as an adult, but I don’t think the majority of younger children would be ready for it. I will want my daughter to read it in a few years. I loved the diversity in the story and the way that what happened on 9/11 was revealed slowly through the main character’s exploration and growth.
I have decided to pre-read any books that I feel might have sensitive content so that I can decide if they are okay for my children. I don’t want to keep them from reading about hard things, but I want to make sure they are ready for what is being presented to them. I’ve even chosen to read some books that are more advanced out loud so we can discuss them and I can make sure the kids are understanding different concepts. It’s less about censoring and more about sheltering until the time is right. I think it’s especially important, in our case, since my daughter is an advanced reader and is reading books far above her grade level. <— Mom brag. 😀 It’s not a hard task for me to read books before her or with her because I enjoy reading, too!
I remember my parents doing this when I was young, but they stopped when we were in junior high. My mom and I would share books in junior high and high school, but she didn’t pre-read things for me.
How do you feel about this parenting strategy? Did you do something similar? Did your parents do this for you?
My daughter’s teacher read a book that was age appropriate on 9/11 and I’ll recommend it to you too: Fireboat by Maira Kalman. It was an indirect approach to telling the story of 9/11, but it was a beautiful story about the heroism that happened that day and how people came together to help each other in the face of a huge tragedy. I got to hear the story, too, since my daughter’s class is currently meeting on Zoom. It was lovely and I went to order us a copy of that one, too.
Have you read any books (for adults or children) about what happened on 9/11/2001? Would you recommend them?
Getting Back on Your Wild Writing Horse
Yes, I did this with my children for many years. At some point–maybe late elementary school or junior high school–my oldest son’s reading outpaced mine, and I couldn’t preview everything he read any more. But hopefully by that time we had instilled principles of discernment in him.
I think it depends a lot upon the child; when I was yet very young I was already inured to random violence and capricious cruelty, and could have read most anything by the time I was in the second grade, without hurting my already iron heart.
It was only later, with the help of a wonderful Jewish family that took me in, that the carapace was softened and I began to resemble something human.
When I was young I learned that life
was hard and quick and cruel,
less of loving than of strife
and devil takes the fool.
I did learn with passing years
of hearts whose doors stood open
disregarding pain and fears
and that were always hopin’
that some stranger just like me
would come on in and sit a spell,
to have some scones, a cup of tea
while on my way to hell,
and then stop and realize
that to God, I was a prize.
This is exactly what we my parents did for me and what we did for our boys! I had the great honor of teaching all three of my sons to read in home pre-school … which was great, but left us with 3 high-level readers in little bodies. My third son read his first middle grade novel in kindergarten … which was great, but there were parts we had to talk about. So I read everything at first. Hank the Cowdog, Magic treehouse, Dragon Slayer’s Academy, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, I read it all! And I loved it! I read aloud to them every night before bed and so some of the more problematic books we read together and talked about. I do want them to read about difficult topics and things that we disagree with … eventually. But we sheltered for a time. I had a personal hierarchy of books to read before ten, after ten, and after thirteen. My husband is definitely for less censorship than I am and this provided a great place to argue back and forth and really decide what we believed as a couple about reading and reading independence. Once they enter high school, I let them know that I won’t purchase books for them that I feel are inappropriate, but that I will no longer tell them they cannot read something. As a couple, we handed that responsibility over to them, letting them know that guarding your heart and mind is important, but that as young adults, they must learn how to do this for themselves. It is difficult to let go, but we felt deciding for yourself was also a vital skill that we must teach them.
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