Blogger: Janet Kobobel Grant
I was talking to Mary Keeley a few days ago about ways agents feel guilty in their relationships with clients. Then a light went on for me: Clients can feel equally guilty in their relationships with agents. The funny thing is, neither party is likely to acknowledge that guilt to the other. So this is a clear-the-air kind of blog.
Why agents feel guilty
We can always be doing more for each client. If I spent 24/7 thinking about and working on one client’s career, I’m unlikely to ever finish my task. There’s always more I could be doing:
- exploring new ways to market via social media;
- considering ways to improve his or her website and blog;
- talking to the publisher’s marketing staff about ways to more effectively team up;
- brainstorming new projects with the client;
- making subrights deals;
- checking into merchandising;
- considering how to more firmly establish a brand, etc.
Trust me, we agents wake up in the middle of the night worrying about our clients. We know we could be doing more. We wonder if we’ve been imaginative enough, smart enough…enough of everything the ultimate agent should be. (Not that we expect much of ourselves.)
And we haven’t even opened the Pandora’s box of whether we chose the right publisher at the right time with the right project. Or did that decision we just made deep-six an author’s career? Did we negotiate the very best deal possible? If we pushed a little harder, could we have gotten a better deal? Did we get such a great deal that the author is doomed to failure?
The scope of our job keeps us locked down in a vault of guilt. We always could be doing more and doing it better. Oh, yes, guilt is built into what we do. If an agent doesn’t feel guilty, I wonder if that agent really is paying attention to the responsibility balled up in his or her hand.
Why clients feel guilty
I don’t think a client has ever confessed feeling guilty to me, but it occurred to me that they’ve hinted at it. They say things like:
- “I’m so sorry I haven’t gotten you the proposal I promised you.”
- “I’m sorry I haven’t come up with a novel idea that has a great hook.”
- “I realize that my sales are really low.”
- “I know you’re busy, but…”
- “I”m thinking about not writing any more because I just can’t do social media well enough.”
Clients are aware that agents signed them because agents expected to make a living via their clients’ work. That’s true, of course, but part of the reason agents have significant-sized client lists is to bring in income from a variety of authors rather than depending on a few. Agents’ financial sources are broad; we might not make much with one client, but another client might balance that out.
Ultimately, I think authors and agents need to have what Robin Jones Gunn calls a “shame off you” session. Rather than sloshing in our guilt, wouldn’t it be grand if we had an honest conversation about what makes us feel guilty? The most likely response we would receive after our confession is “You’re kidding. That’s not an issue for me.” Ta-da! Absolution!
What makes you, as a writer, feel guilty?
How do you deal with it?
TWEETABLES
What do agents not tell clients? Click to tweet.
What agents wish their clients knew. Click to tweet.
Secret guilt in the author-agent relationship. Click to tweet.
Something that helped me long ago was to recognize that some guilt is legitimate and should be dealt with accordingly, but some guilt is illegitimate and that is where shame stems. So I love the “shame off” idea from Robin. 🙂
Good point, Anne. Sometimes we should feel guilty.
As one of Mary’s flock, I can’t imagine she has anything to feel guilty about as she works steadily on my behalf. (Seriously.) On my part, I feel guilty about dissing Pinterest because I was overwhelmed with the “public platform” facet of representation. Mary’s slowing convincing me of its necessity, and I’m thankful for her grace.
Norma, we all understand how hard it is to integrate yet another social media venue into our schedules. I suppose we should add “persevering” to an agent’s traits. We don’t easily let go of something we think our clients should be doing. And add that to our list of things we worry about in the night–how much to persist, when to just let the client figure it out, etc.
I am totally receptive to the sledgehammer over the head approach, Janet.
This may not be a matter of guilt, but it bothers me that I can’t scrape together more minutes for writing than I do. Of course, it would be wonderful if I could imitate Joshua, Moses’s successor, and say, “Sun, stand still over Gibeon,
and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon,” until I complete my next chapter. For now, though, the best I can do is rise early in the morning, start the coffee, and keep plugging away!
Rick, I’m with you on that one! Who needs life, right? Just let me write. Except that all that life gives us so much to write about…
“life gives us so much to write about.”
Well said Sally. I have to excuse myself from my introverted tendencies on a regular basis or I miss the abundance of fodder found in social interaction.
I’m with you, too, Rick. Praying your schedule lightens up soon.
That’s probably the greatest guilt-producer for writers–always feeling like you should be writing.
What makes me feel guilty is that I started my blog to provide an additional (small) creative outlet apart from my novel, and now my blog is way more interesting and fun for me, and my novel has been sitting on my desk for a month. Maybe one of these days I’ll think about it again.
Well, meanwhile you’re building blog readership, which is a good idea too.
I think blogging can be so seductive, and keep us away from our writing because there is so much immediate feedback, and little stat counters to check and stuff to tweak…it’s a lot of fun, but sometimes not so productive. 🙂
Like Rick and Sally, I feel guilty about not having enough time to write; and I hear what LisaR is saying, too, blogging is fun, so why not write that in short blurbs instead of tackling a larger project?
I’m also guilty of being discouraged over the wait times for picture book publishing. I don’t illustrate my own work, so after I have sent a book off to my publisher, it can be a year or more before an illustrator is assigned to my book. Here I am working through the 12 x 12 project where I write one picture book a month for 12 months, and once they are done, there’s still an eternity to wait until I see any results from my work.
Publishing often is about long waits, and it’s easy to feel discouraged. You belong to a club with a large membership!
The risk of not earning out a contract.
The risk of coming up short on a cost-benefit analysis.
The risk of being a pest.
Whew. I feel better already. 😀
The possibility of not getting a new contract for you.
Not looking at your proposals quickly enough. Steering you in the wrong direction.
I feel better now too. 🙂
Just reading that exchange I feel better too!
😀
As Rick and others mentioned above, I think my biggest guilt-prodder is not having enough time to write, and sometimes not using the time I do have to write. With elementary aged children at home, I try to keep them as my top priority when they’re home. I committed to more than I should have this year, and my writing time was sacrificed. I still have the luxury of not being on deadline right now, but I feel the pressure of not meeting the self-imposed deadlines and goals I’ve set for myself.
Thanks for sharing this, Janet. You got me thinking, and it’s always good to see an agent’s perspective. Oh, and I also love Robin Jones Gunn’s “Shame off you.” I need to remember that. 🙂
I think writers inherently feel guilty because you always could be writing, or you could be writing better, or you could be marketing more and better…the guilt cycle churns on.
So many good comments here, Janet, and I don’t know that I have anything original to add. So, more guilt: I’m taking up your time making you read a comment that may or may not add value to your day. 🙂
I agree with Rick and feeling guilty about not having more writing time. It’s a delicate balance, too, with children at home, like Jeanne said. When I’m mothering, I feel like I should spend more time writing. When I’m writing, I feel like I should spend more time mothering. But I have some fairly set hours to write, so that it doesn’t eliminate the mothering. And my children like it that I write and we talk about stories together, so that helps as well.
I think my biggest guilt is what Lisa mentioned. I enjoy blogging, and it’s growing, providing just a smidgen of income, so I wonder if I’m spending time blogging that I should be spending working on my WIP. However (it’s always the however’s where the guilt comes in), blogging builds platform and I’ve made some online friends that I think would be terrific influencers some day.
Meghan, your comment about having a set time you write is insightful. That can help to keep the guilt at bay. Of course, your other dilemma, of what you write during that time is a whole different kind of guilt.
I echo what a lot of the others are saying. It’s difficult to know whether I should feel guilty when I don’t write–after all, family should be a priority, and God does call us to rest sometimes. But, I am not spending the time I’d like to be on my writing. And I’m really not sure how to change that.
Meghan’s method of having a set writing time might be of help to you, Lindsay. I love a habit Debbie Macomber has. At the beginning of every year, she sets aside specific sections of the year to be with family and not to work. It’s of course easier for her because her children are no longer at home, but she’s intentional about having solid family time.
What makes me as a writer feel guilty:
Because of multiple documents or projects, I didn’t always give my best.
Because of a time crunch on another document or project, I didn’t give give my best.
Because I was too tired, I didn’t give my best.
Many writers would add hearty amens to these “guilts.” But we can only do our best within the circumstances.
About fifteen years into raising children, I allowed a heap of quilt to bend my shoulders in shame. I wasn’t the perfect supermom. My list (we all have one in our head, if not on paper) never ended…check something off and three more things were added.
I don’t remember when or exactly what happened, but I began to talk to myself differently. “I am doing the best I can at this moment in time.”
Now, my beautiful children are all married, have children of their own, are productive, responsible wonderful people and parents, and I am so proud of them.
And, I see a parallel in my writing. While I need to examine and evaluate thoughts that come into my mind, I also must remind my self that, “I am doing the best I can at this moment in time.”
I hope everyone has a tea-riffically blessed week!
Kathryn, I’ve come to the same point as a mom. I am not lazy. I’m doing what needs to be done, but I’m not a robot and I need downtime. So I don’t feel guilty when, once a month or so, I spend my morning reading instead of cleaning or organizing or other wife/mom things. For me, that time in the morning might be my only time off.
Good for you Sally! I think you’re so right to take care of yourself,(your sanity), once in awhile!
Happy parenting!
Enjoyed perusing your website!
“I am doing the best I can at this moment in time.” Thanks for that, Kathryn!
The temptation to write a book which clear-cuts entire forests due to the demand for it, having forsaken any quality standards and pandered to the market.
I’d feel bad leaving Bambi homeless just so I could have a summer home in Miami….
Larry, affecting Bambi’s lifestyle would be quite guilt-inducing.
How James Patterson sleeps at night, I do not know. 🙂
Larry » 🙂
Good afternoon Janet. I read this post this morning and have been thinking about it all day. I haven’t read other responses, yet, on purpose. What do I feel guilty about? Yes, you should see my house!! Oh my word, WHAT a pit. But you see the muse is pouring forth today, and I cannot stop to unload the dishwasher. And I honestly don’t care.
Alright, back to work.
So much for your really feeling guilty; you’re having too much fun with your muse.
Ha!I got busted!
Indeed! Consider it this way:
When a writer sets out to write, so often it can involve staring blankly at a screen or typewriter, not knowing where to go.
So when a writer is able to write, shouldn’t those who demand of the writer prefer the writer focusing on getting the darn thing done, instead of more days or nights spent blankly staring at the screen or typewriter, where those demanding of the writer would just end up being ignored anyways?
I have been thinking about this, and although this is not what you were talking about, I keep coming back to my kids. I have three little girls (5,6 and 7 years old!) and two of them have special needs. I feel as if I often sacrifice time with them for my writing. So I feel guilty because I don’t give more to my kids, and I feel guilty because I am not giving the time I wish I had to my writing. That said, I know this is a season of life, and too soon, my kids won’t be so little anymore.
Ellen, it’s a balancing act that never leaves you feeling as if you’ve figured it out because the dynamics keep changing. Hence the guilt.
I’m always afraid I’ll demand too much, that I’ll be a pest, so I think I go to the other extreme and I don’t communicate nearly as much as I should. 😛 I’ve talked to other authors who say the same thing. They don’t want to be pest, to either their agent or their editor, so they avoid sending an email to check in. I’m very guilty of this. So when am I being a pest and when am I engaging in healthy, necessary communication? I’m afraid I’m pretty clueless. LOL!
Melanie, every editor/agent is different in how much dialogue is encouraged. Knowing your agent (Rachel), she’d prefer you communicate too much than not enough. So when in doubt, as long as you’re not bombarding your agent with emails (that would be contacting her many times a week if nothing unusual is going on), email her. I’d say the same to any author. And you can always ask for feedback: “Am I sending you too many emails?” That invites the person to respond honestly. That simple question is one you can ask your editor as well.
Thanks, Janet! I do appreciate this feedback. God is trying to teach me to be assertive, but I’m a slow learner when it comes to that! LOL 🙂
Upon deciding to seriously pursue writing this MS I’ve been picking at for months, I find myself overwhelmed! I learned here that social media is a must, so I hurdled my discomfort and started a Facebook page in my real name. I found trying to do it in my pen name was impossible, because Leia Brown doesn’t really exist. No one knows me by that name. Why would they want to be my friend? But when I used my real name, I found Facebook friendship by fire hydrant! Scores of people, many beloved, whom I haven’t heard from in far too long suddenly want my time, and I want to give it to them. But then my daughter is home sick from school, and she needs my time, too. Not to mention my husband and church and … well, what about that goal of actually writing the MS instead of just picking at it? I don’t have time! So, I echo what everyone else has said, time is my guilt-producer. I feel guilty that I don’t have enough time for all these priorities. I am so thankful that we serve a God of grace who is mindful that we are but dust.
Susan, the underlying issue here is the same one most of us suffer from: time management. If you never set aside time to write your manuscript, when will you ever finish it? A portion of each week must be devoted to the tough stuff–actually writing the ms.
Janet, thanks for a great post. Although I do not have an agent, the statement, ‘I’m thinking about not writing any more because I just can’t do social media well enough’ really spoke to me. That is exactly the way I feel. I have a completed manuscript in the hands of an agent, and am working on another. Yet, I feel intimidated about social media. I have followed all the advice by having a blog, website, Facebook page, etc., but am not confident enough in it.
Carole, patience in the building is about all we can regarding social media. And reading about ways to experiment with it to see what works for you. All we can do is offer what we have in our hand. Just know you are not allow in the sense of inadequacy.
I love how Brene Brown, PhD, describes the difference between shame and guilt.
Guilt = I did something bad (or in many instances described above, I didn’t do something good)
Shame = I am bad.
Guilt can be helpful in identifying the source and solution – shame doesn’t do anything but make us feel pointlessly unworthy and unloved.
There are a million things in my life to feel guilty about. Mostly I am guilty of spending too much time thinking about what’s next, or how I can incorporate this into a blog post, or whether or not I’m going to get any writing done tonight, rather than being present and enjoying where I am in the moment.
Adelle, thank you for the enlightening and helpful definitions of guilt and shame. Actually, I guess we should thank both you, for being the conduit, and Dr. Brown, for the concise and insightful definitions.
Sometimes it’s so hard to be present, isn’t it? I remember in grade school, we had to respond to our names at role call by saying, “Present.” I need to mentally reinstitute that response.
Yeah, I was the one whose name they had to call two or three times because I wasn’t paying attention!
Thank you for this down to earth posting! Very helpful!
Yvonne Brown
what comes to mind is this: At what stage does an agent have an idea as to how far away the publication date is?
Usually when a publisher makes an offer to publish a book, they have tentatively selected the publication date. I’m not sure how this fits in with a discussion about guilt. Help me out here, Roger.
After I read your post this morning I went on a long bike ride by the Bay, and I did not feel guilty. I think it helped clear the cobwebs, but now I’ll feel guilty if I don’t have a productive writing day.
Janet, do your late night worrying sessions cause insomnia?
I fall asleep in peace the moment I lie down because you alone, O Lord, enable me to live securely. Psalms 4:8 GW
Jenni, I have lots of reasons to experience insomnia that go beyond worries about clients. But yes, sleep doesn’t always come readily to me. Why pray when I can just worry!?
That made me laugh. So true!
Thanks for sharing these insights from both sides of the fence.
I can see myself easily falling into the “I know you’re busy, but…” rut.
Peter, lots of my clients preface their emails and phone conversations that way. It’s like saying, “I feel guilty contacting you but…”
I’m un-agented and unpublished at the moment, but I feel guilty when I can’t meet my own writing deadlines. But I feel guiltier when I have to choose between writing and spending time with family. Inevitably family wins, but that means once again, my self-imposed writing deadline goes back to the drawing board. Such is the life of a weekend writer. Mine, anyway.
I usually have a significant list of work-oriented tasks for each weekend, but I let my family have priority over my list, too.
Echoing Peter and others, the “I know you’re busy, but…” is definitely near the top of my list, but what really piles on the guilt is when my agent reads my manuscript, edits it, and gives great suggestions, but, when I’ve rewritten it, the book doesn’t sell.
I know my agent has worked so many hours for me and receives nothing but frustration in exchange. That inundates me with guilt.
Trust me, your agent feels guilty in not having been able to sell your project; so it’s a mutual-guilt society! Sadly, we agents can’t always predict what publishers will decide to publish–how uncooperative of them!
Yes, if we could just get those publishers to see things our way! Smiling, Janet. As for agent guilt. Oh my goodness, no agent should feel guilty after working so hard for a client!
Janet, major kudos to you for addressing this topic. I think guilt is hard for anyone to admit in any situation and that’s why communication is key in all relationships. A “shame off you” session is a brilliant idea! Think of all the energy we could be putting toward our work if we weren’t worrying so much. 😉
Jamie, I’m all for productivity over worry…well, in theory more than in practice.
What a timely post! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels guilty. What a relief to know my relationship with my agent is a two-way street. LOL! Personally, I’m dusting myself off from the devil’s lies and plodding ahead, because “Steady plodding brings prosperity . . . “ Proverbs 21:5LB
Sherry, I love that verse. What version is that in?
Janet, I love it too. It’s the Living Bible. Our pastor talked about thriving in our work on Sunday and used this version for this verse.
Thanks, Sherry.
Is that steady plodding..or steady plotting! Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself :~D
I think it’s both, Marci. 🙂
Comparing myself to others. I fight it, but sometimes when I see other authors writing so much and doing awesome at marketing and living beautiful lives that glorify God, my puny offering seems pathetic. I do fight it, but it still sneaks in. I have a MOPS talk called, “Parenting without Guilt.” Maybe I should do a talk for writers called, Writing without Guilt.” 🙂
Ocieanna, the comparison bug is virulent. Thanks for adding that to our list.
The little gnawing rats in my head tell me I’m not worthy of putting out the words God gave me for others to read. Then I remember—of course I’m not worthy! It’s not about “worthy”, it’s about obedience. Whew!
With the release of my first book, I felt guilty because it seemed like the editor and publisher had so much work to do to produce the book, when I had so much fun just writing my piece for it.
It isn’t so much that I feel guilty, but that I feel like I might be disappointment. That is a much bigger fear for me because not only am I a pleaser by nature, I know that I am not the only one working toward my writing success. Whew! I feel better now.
Thanks Janet for letting me share that little simmering emotion, it is nice to know that it really boils down to better communication.
God didn’t call us to be successful. He called us to be Holy.
Trust me, we agents wake up in the middle of the night worrying about our clients. We know we could be doing more. We wonder if we’ve been imaginative enough, smart enough…enough of everything the ultimate agent should be.
Wow…this is exactly what it is like being a teacher.
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