Blogger: Wendy Lawton
We’re getting close to Valentine’s Day. The commercials on the television are all trying to dupe unsuspecting men into buying room-sized teddy bears or Pajamagrams. (I warned my sweet, gift-challenged husband that any time an ad tells him his wife will love him for buying their creepy product, run the other way.)
I’m rereading Francis Chan’s Crazy Love right now and just this week I came across the exercise Chan suggests. He says to take 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and verse 13 and substitute our own name for the word “love” in the passage because, after all, we are called to be love.
________________is patient,
________________is kind.
________________does not envy,
________________does not boast,
________________is not proud.
________________does not dishonor others,
________________is not self-seeking,
________________is not easily angered,
________________keeps no record of wrongs.
________________does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
________________always protects,
________________always trusts,
________________always hopes,
________________always perseveres.
________________never fails . . . And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 (NIV)
I took Francis Chan up on his challenge. I grabbed my fountain pen and journal and began to write the paraphrase substituting Wendy for the word love. By the time I had written, “Wendy is patient and kind. . .” I knew I was in trouble. I looked at the long list and felt humbled by how far I miss the mark. I challenge you to do this exercise. Take a pen and paper and write the whole paragraph out. Or make it a list as I did above. It’s certainly an eye-opener, isn’t it?
As I was pondering how far I fall short of the goal of “being love” (not feeling love– that’s too easy) I began applying this to areas of my life. Am I love to my family? How about my friends? Do I represent love to those I meet in a professional way? I began to look at the attributes and realized that’s what we’re called to do as writers. Look at it again. Patient? Not self-seeking? Not boastful? Always hopes? Always perseveres? There’s a lot for writers to think about in these words.
In honor of St. Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be fun to see how you apply some of these attributes to your writing journey. How do you persevere? How do you remain hopeful? How does a writer not rejoice in evil but delight in truth? What about dishonoring others? Can a writer promote his books and remain innocent of self-seeking? As I write each one of these things I can come up with examples of how we’ve witnessed epic #fail in each one of these areas. So please chime in and tell us how you are working out one or two of these qualities in your own writing journey.
Wendy,
This is certainly a humbling exercise – personally and professionally! It is difficult to get past “Carol is patient” without finding myself on my knees.
As a read through the chapter, though, I am drawn to the idea of trusting. My writing journey has been so focused on prayer and perseverance. Recently, I have been reminded to trust.
Trust God for his guidance and provision. Trust my agent for her direction and experience. Trust my editors for their unique God-given visions.
These seem like “givens”, and to an extent they are. However, for me it is a daily self-check. I want to be sure I am allowing God to work through me with those I am blessed to have in my writing journey.
I imagine the daily self-check makes you more trustworthy as you interact with all the people you mentioned.
I know. It’s not fair that patient comes first, right?
Humility–I believe it’s the essential key, both in my everyday relationships, and in writing.
Love–when it’s your last name, sometimes it feels like you have a badge everywhere you go that people expect more from. I pray that I humbly represent the name that God gave our family.
My maiden name “Zarifeh” means ‘beautiful’in Arabic. I try to carry that still.
Although, I’m somewhat more suited to whatever the Arabic word for “sits in the back of the class and mutters things just loud enough so her friends lose it and they get in trouble”.
Which, probably according to family lore, is still “Zarifeh”.
Maybe our kids should get married. Then, seriously, what kind of name would “Major-Love” or “Love-Major” be?
Have you ever considered stand-up comedy 🙂 I think you could do quite well.
I’m with Lisa. 🙂
Thank you very much, Lisa. At some point, I’d love to do women’s conferences, but NO ONE has asked me. Perhaps it’s the whole restraining order thing.
Or just pure fear on their part. Or both. 😉
Anne, I never thought about the expectations that come with a last name such as yours. I’m guessing you represent your name well.
Good morning, Wendy.
I’m toast by the first line.
The toughest one you posed was “Can a writer promote his books and remain innocent of self-seeking?”
I can’t stand bragging. I loathe it. I may joke around and say “my cheesecake can whup your cheesecake”. But the fact is, there’s going to be someone out there who can cheese my cake under the table. For everyone who boasts, there is someone out there who can up the ante and shame the braggart.
When I’m out, I try to be as nice as I can, because didn’t Jesus kind of do that too?
I cringe every time I ask a writer for their opinion. But, my to my husband’s amazement, I have found Christian writers to be beyond generous with their time, advice, critiques and encouragement.
Why is he surprised? Because even though he writes for his work, nobody in his field shares unless they’re already in a team. That is the nature of his work.
But, since I’m trying to float the moolah to go to ACFW, anyone wants to buy a copy of any of his papers, email me. Come ON, who can resist “drought tolerance of picea in relation to embryogenetic mutation”?
Yes! I have found the same thing from Christian writer!!! I was floored by the outpouring of help I received from “big names” when I first joined ACFW. So good to see.
Jennifer, Maybe someone can “cheese your cake” under the table, but no one will make it in the same way. Likely you will touch certain readers as no one else can, either by story or even voice. It’s not always about ME being BETTER than the other guy. Just me reaching who God wants me to reach!
I’m so glad you’ve been able to receive good feedback on your story, Jennifer. Sometimes that is just the encouragement we need to move forward, isn’t it? 🙂
Jennifer, I, too, think we are blessed to be part of the Christian writing community. I see a totally different dynamic at work in our ranks.
I really enjoyed that book! The exercise itself is so difficult. I have found the same, that humility has to underline all your actions. Also, giving more than you receive. I try to focus on what I can give. I find that God has a way of taking care of me through that. I too, have found Christians writers/agents/editors to be exceptionally kind and generous. I only pray I can add to that generosity and kindness.
Lisa always trusts… that’s my biggest, because Lisa likes to worry!
Worry? WHAT is this WORRY of which you speak?
I don’t worry. I imagine what could happen if things go wrong.
Which it totally not worrying.
I have found the same thing, Lisa.
Isn’t worry one of the most besetting sins we struggle with? And nothing strips us of joy quicker than worry. One of my favorite verses is Philippians 4:6 which starts with “Be anxious about nothing. . .”
Yep, I’d like to say with confidence, Wendy always trusts, but. . .
I was so challenged by that book. I journaled so many thoughts about it. And, yes, I’m challenged when I put my name in the first line. My kids make me really evaluate how well I live out love on a personal level.
On a writing level, I think the “Jeanne always hopes,” is a roughy for me. I need to develop the discipline of keeping my hope in Jesus and not on anything else.
What great Valentine week thoughts, Wendy!
Yeah, remember how the Bible tells us to get to hope in Romans 5 – “Glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame.”
Dang, where are the butterflies and unicorns?!?
I burst out laughing at “the butterflies and unicorns”!!
Them things are on the wall in the church nursery. And nowhere else!
Those butterflies and unicorns…they must be just on the other side of Revelation 22, eh? 🙂
I completely agree with your statement about how our kids highlight how well we live out love.
Jeanne, you said, “My kids make me evaluate how well I live out love. . .” I’ve often thought, the life of a cloistered nun would certainly lend itself to a deeper spirituality. If I could be silent and not have to “be” love to those who depend on me, I might be able to think I was doing pretty well. Loving family is so very daily.
You’re right. It’s so very daily indeed. Staying quiet in a convent would be so much easier for this chatty gal. 🙂
Gack. Yuck. Where’s the heart-shaped chocolate? I need a hit after this!
Okay. My first thought as I went down the list was that I fail in each category. But then I got to that last line. “Sarah never fails.” Are you kidding me? But there’s more to it, right? Sarah–when she loves–never fails. Now that’s something I can latch onto. When my writing is rejected or criticized–love. When the obstacles seem insurmountable–love. When I’m finally published and there are bad reviews–love.
And as long as I keep doing that. I will NEVER fail. Sounds like a pretty fabulous deal to me.
I’ll take a hit of chocolate with you, Sarah! lol. 🙂 That list hit me hard too.
Well said Sarah.
Wow..that’s powerful, Sarah. That when we love we’ll never fail, I mean. Thank you!
Great thoughts, Sarah. When love undergirds all we do, God is blessed, and so are others.
What an interesting twist, Sarah. Love is the thing that never fails. We can only strive to be that love.
Sarah, what a great challenge you’ve given me.
Maybe I’m now ready to send out that next query and see what happens. I know how to respond better now. Instead of feeling hurt, I’ll love.
Thanks!
I went through that book a couple years ago. Loved it!!!
I love thinking of it in regards to my journey. For a while, God has been working on my patience. Ironically, that is not the one that stood out to me. The word that really stood out to me was trusts. I find it easier to follow His call on me to write with a “whatever His will is” attitude rather than actually trust and believe Him that there’s something special for me at the end of this road. I know I believe God. I am just trying to believe him in the present active. The word trusts conveys that.
These are great thoughts on Trust, Tari. I was thinking about how hard it can be to trust God with things I think I have control over. God usually has a way of showing me Who’s REALLY in control when I go there. And then I HAVE to trust.
Interesting. Trying to believe him in the present active– yes!
Oh, Wendy, I wanted an easy Tuesday! What struck me about those verses is that as soon as I say I’m doing fine with them (untrue, of course!), then there goes “Meghan does not boast” and we’re back to the beginning.
“Can a writer promote his books and remain innocent of self-seeking?” It’s a conundrum. I just read the other day (can’t remember where) that a writer NEEDS to toot his own horn. And yet, especially all throughout the book of Proverbs, doesn’t the Bible admonish us NOT to be self-seeking? There’s a fine line there somewhere. I know, when my opportunity comes, I want to let readers know of my book with the hope that it will encourage, enlighten, and/or uplift them. But I also know that I don’t want to be that kind of author who shouts, “Buy my book!”
All right, back to The Book….
Maybe, instead of tooting our horn, it can be a small, humble kazoo. 😉
Great image, Jenni!
I think boasting is generally misunderstood, just like pride is. It’s not boasting to evaluate how we’re doing spiritually and see progress. Isn’t boasting more about bragging in front of others in order to compare ourselves?
It’s like pride. Taking delight in our accomplishments is not pride. Pride is thinking we can go it on our own and we don’t need God. Right?
What a great response.
I need God every minute of my day. Next time I feel pride trying to raise it’s ugly head, I’ll remember this.
Thanks.
(By the way, I came back today to go over this as my morning devotional. I’ve also forwarded to family and friends. Great post!)
Whew, Wendy, that list is really eye-opening. I think all writers should print it, fill it out and tape it by our computer screens.
Like Jennifer said above, the Christian writing community is so unique and supportive. I think accountability is important in keeping us focused and humble and accountability is what we’re all doing right here.
Thank you for that opportunity, Wendy and everyone else at Books & Such. It’s much appreciated.
Well said. Accountability is so important. Staying grounded. Not thinking we’re all that and a bag of chips.
A friend of mine has a landscaping business. He works on the summer homes of some VERY famous people. One morning, a young man carted a huge can of trash down the long lane of one of the massive, multi-million dollar homes. Then he walked back up the hill. No biggie, right? The young man was Sidney Crosby, and whether you like him or not, that hockey player has earned a fortune.
But who still took out his mom’s garbage?
Our names may one day be *up there*, but I sure hope we remember where we came from and who walked the road with us. Because if we cannot love, honour and care for those who carried us when our going got tough, then our fancy words mean nothing.
So true, Jennifer.
I hadn’t thought about the accountability that happens here. I’m so glad you shared that, Morgan. 🙂
You’re welcome, Jeanne! I just thought of it myself while reading all our posts today. 🙂
Yes, accountability. It does keep us focused and keep us from straying too far afield.
Yikes, so convicting!
That’s exactly how I felt, Julie. That exercise has been dogging me for days now. That’s why I shared it here, so it could dog all the rest of you as well. 🙂
The one which sticks in my craw (as my Grandma used to say) is “does not envy.” I’ve battled against envy my whole life and it worsened in the past few years as I watched so many writer friends sign contract deals. I knew it was wrong and I was still able to celebrate with them, but all the while I hid a little seed of hurt and discouragement deep in my heart.
I imagine many writers struggle with this one.
When it came my turn to announce a contract deal, I struggled a little, knowing how it might make some people feel. I pray that it encouraged others in their journeys rather than perpetuating envy.
We really have to fight envy because it assumes that there is a finite amount of good and if someone else has something, we have less. I don’t think that’s true in God’s economy. I’m guessing I have exactly what God has planned for me to have. (She says as she pulls up her book sales chart for 2013.) 🙂
And to think Wendy sent this darling Valentine to us on Fat Tuesday. *nibbles another bonbon*
You nibble? I live with 4 hockey players. Nibbling eludes to a quiet, genteel existence where one can savour and enjoy, as opposed to ramming it down one’s gullet before the big kids wrestle it from your hand and hold it 7 feet off the ground and mock one’s efforts at a jump ball.
So funny! My husband has three brothers, and he said that he would eat whatever food was available, whether he was hungry or not, because that was the only way to score vittles.
You have bon-bons? May I have one? Please? 😉
Hey! Back off, Takenaka! At least arm wrestle me. And remember, I refinish furniture. These guns are loaded.
Sounds like you have inadvertently announced what you are giving up for Lent, Janet. Hmmmm?
Wendy, this morning conviction was harder to swallow than my one egg omelet, but so timely. How did you know that yesterday envy came knocking, and I let him in for awhile?
So thankful for the way the Lord extends undeserved grace, and many second chances, because I need them.
Delighting in truth while we write is imperative when we’re exploring different facets of evil. I think spiritual warfare can really creep in while we do this. All the more reason to commit our ways to the Lord.
I’m with you, Jenni. I need second chances. And third chances. And fourth chances. Sigh.
Besides that, Jenni, this writing journey is tough. I don’t think it is any easier than if you decided you wanted to be a Broadway star or a Hollywood sensation. The very nature of the quest makes for second-guessing and, yes, twinges of envy.
Reading that starting one as I refresh the email waiting for some artists to send in rough drafts of cover art!…. 🙂
“Can a writer promote his books and remain innocent of self-seeking”
I would say it’s possible. If one is confident in the quality of their work and doesn’t need the approval of critics or readers. The question is exactly what you mentioned: what does the author seek? The distinction is whether the author seeks out validation for their pride, or whether the author seeks to simply share the story they want to tell.
“How does a writer not rejoice in evil but delight in truth?”
I’ve gotten into some discussions about this with secular readers: They cannot quite grasp that a book as objective art holds itself to standards greater than what desires the readers project onto the book, or genre (it was a discussion about the current darkness in YA books). So for those readers, they have no problems fundamentally altering a genre to reflect their experiences and desires and faults. And that is what is happening to that genre. So writers in that genre are facing a choice; do they get a paycheck and rejoice in celebrating darkness in their novels, or do they seek to offer truth, even though many secular publishers are wary of it?
There are parallels in the Christian publishing industry as well: does a writer try to write a book that shares the Light, even if it means honestly depicting characters who are Fallen, or do they go for the quick paycheck by writing about the exploits of the Bonnet Cartel?
“Rejoicing in truth” is exactly what it’s about…..I just don’t see how anyone could be happy if they don’t create work reflecting that quality or reason for wanting to be a writer in the first place; that joy of language and storytelling and sharing with readers a glimpse of something great and wonderful.
Oh boy, Larry, you have put words to one of our real battles. You said, “So writers are facing a choice; do they get a paycheck and rejoice in celebrating darkness in their novels, or do they seek to offer truth, even though many secular publishers are wary of it?”
And the flip side. Do we ignore evil to create some kind of sweetly false world?
Those are the questions that provoke a rollicking discussion. A discussion we need to continue to have.
I think being patient is challenging throughout the entire aspect of writing from titling your project, researching it, finding the exact way to say what you want to , to meeting your deadline. Of course, when you have someone edit your work and you’re going through the draft and you see more red in it than you do when the Red Cross takes blood, every one of those character traits are challened. So, there’s my honest revelation. On the flip side of the coin,I try to share the Gospel clearly in every one of my books; so much so that I want the reader to be at a crossroad and have to make a decision in reading my books. I think that’s my attempt to love others through my work in the greatest aspect. A
And speaking of patience, I just watched one of my authors patiently work through a challenging edit with grace and flexibility. In this business we need patience desperately. (And we need it right this minute! :-))
It’s humbling to apply 1 Corinthians 13 to my personal life. I can safely say that I have fallen short many times!
“…how you apply some of these attributes to your writing journey.”
The part about “always trusts” can be hard for me as a prepub writer. I can do nothing but trust God that some day, all these self-editing and rewriting will be done, I’ll put down my dozen red pens (I should replace them with roses!), dare to start my search for the Uber Agent (does he/she exist?), and step out in faith.
“How do you persevere?”
I “turn my eyes upon Jesus, and look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace…”
Jan, that song has been one of my touchstones since one day when I was eleven years old.
Doodle always . . . trusts his master because,
Donnie always trusts Doodle.
I don’t know if that particular metaphor has a spiritual parallel because though I believe in always trusting the Master, I’m guessing I’m not as trustworthy. The master always loves me, however.
I look at that list and think how I am actually better at “loving” in my writing life than I am with my husband. Why is it so much easier to demonstrate real love to acquaintances than it is a spouse? It probably has something to do with my more-than-human expectations of him. Something to think on. Those verses always trip me up—Ugh!
For writers, I think about the ministry of it. I see every Christian author as a necessary part of God’s work and therefore worthy of promotion on my part. I may not be “into” their genre or even their voice, as a reader, but likely there is someone out there who can be touched by their work. So I’d like to connect them if I can. As an area coordinator for ACFW I hope to do more to promote our local authors in the Baltimore-Washington area. Many write historical and Biblical fiction. I do not, so my writing will not serve as theirs will, reaching their audience and filling that need. I hope to “love-on” my members more this year.
I like how you’re focusing on helping others, Connie. What a great perspective.
Connie, I hear you. It’s always easier to love those outside the inner circle. Ww are most real with our spouses and family and the truth for me is, the more real I get, the less impressive it is. 🙂
Good for you to be there for other authors. Of course, it’s probably hard for you to humble there in Baltimore these days, says the 49er fan.
If making a living is equated with self-seeking, then filling out a resume for any job would be self seeking. Surely the farmer who sells his vegetables at the market is a total egoist. And how dare those arrogant carpenters say they can build a quality home…the nerve.
All gifts are from God, even the gift of diligence. To brag on what we do or to compare our results with those of another and feel slighted are actions which stem from the belief that we deserve as much as everyone. “Equality” seems to be the new vogue term for coveting. Perhaps God gifted them more, so what is that to me? I have to do the best with what I have. A part of that is letting people know my work exists and how they can benefit from it. If I do that in the spirit of knowing that it is all a gift, then I will promote it as best I can and let God handle the outcome. Is promoting our work self-seeking? It can be, but it can also seek the Kingdom first.
What a great perspective!
Fantastic way to frame it.
Absolutely right, P.J.. We all know there are ways of making living and selling vegetables that are honorable and there are ways that are disgustingly self-seeking. It’s more about the heart of the person than the job he’s performing. I think you hit the nail on the head when you pointed to comparison as the culprit.
Wendy, this is a thought-provoking exercise. I struggle with the self-promotion aspect of writing and need to contemplate if that does or does not represent being self-seeking.
(On a lighter side, I found out today that the gift I thought my wife hinted for is not what she wants — and that I missed the hint she did give me. The correct gift has been ordered and thankfully I will not loose points for it arriving late. I have a patient wife!)
Peter, I did not mean for this exercise to cause people to struggle with “promoting” our books. I have a theory that if you struggle with it, you needn’t worry. Struggle is a sign you are not self-seeking.
And I love that you listen to the unspoken words your wife doesn’t say. Sigh. So many of us are simply gift-challenged.
The word “protect” jumps out at me. My time on the servant’s team of Community Bible Study taught me never to share personal stories that might present someone in a negative light while preparing bible lectures. When I attended CLASS(Christian Leaders Authors and Speakers Services), one of the trainers shared that after her book was published, a family member was very hurt concerning what she wrote about him without his permission. Thanks to these lessons, I have chosen to protect others, even those who have not been good to me, by leaving them out of my speaking/writing.
This goes to show that I can learn to do better. What if I hadn’t been exposed to this information? I might not realize how wrong it is. The Bible: such a wonderful treasure chest of guideposts at which to set my aim. And God: so full of his grace to forgive and offer more opportunities when I miss the mark.
Wow, Susi. I had not even considered that aspect in this passage. Insightful!
(I always remember what Anne Lamott said, that if people wanted to be portrayed warmly in her books, they should have acted better in the first place. :-))
I am in the middle of Chan’s “Forgotten God” and planning to read “Crazy Love” next. He surely is good at challenging us to take the Holy Spirit, Jesus, God, living out our faith VERY personally. Thanks for this!
I recently read Forgotten God as well. I guess I’m on a Chan kick. Don Pape, publisher at David C. Cook, knowing I like Chan, just sent me Francis Chan’s wife Lisa’s True Beauty Bible study DVDs, Be Still and Deny Yourself.
You can’t read Chan’s books without taking stock, that’s for sure.
Wow. What a humbling exercise.
Thanks for sharing.
So convicting.
I’m late to read this today. I have editing proposals before I hit send for the first one.
Once again, I am reminded to pray and persevere.
And Jan, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” is special to me. All cast against His glory and grace will dim. His light shines through. Amen.
Such a humbling exercise.
Thank you for sharing, Wendy.
Wendy, thank you for this wonderful exercise and challenge as a writer…the way I have persevered this past year since I started writing my book, a personal experience with self help genre, was to be encouraged by writer and authors friends I met like Kay Marshall Strom from the Mt. Hermon Writers Conference last March. I set a goal to rewrite and have my manuscript critiqued by the next conference in March. Being it is just weeks away, I am excited to be taking your non fiction track to learn to be a better writer and meeting you!