Blogger: Janet Kobobel Grant
Location: Florida, participating in author-agent-publisher meeting
So, once you’ve assembled your right idea with the right title and done your homework on making a proposal that pops, it’s time to write your query. Note the order in which these elements have been pulled together. Rather than jumping into writing a query, you’ve taken your time to force yourself to define the project. You know so much about it because you’ve made sure you have a unique idea; an enticing title; and a strong concept of the book’s structure, audience, and even given thought to how you’ll promote it. Now you’re ready to write a winsome query.Your first sentence is important because, like for your book’s first sentence, it sets the tone, highlights a strong point, and launches all that follows with a great ta-da! Not over doing that sentence yet not being bland is the challenge.
I don’t respond well to promises of becoming rich by representing the project or to queries that suggest the book is the most stupendous story since Dickens. Never oversell!
But do:
- Start out with your strongest point. If you’re an authority on a topic, tell me so right up front. If you’ve self-published the book and sold 15,000 copies in six months, I’ll want to hear about that. If your novel has a unique twist, tell me. For example, “Intertwined is a modern re-telling of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.” Do you see how quickly I can decide if that idea interests me?
- Show you are capable of writing a cogent argument for the reasons your book should be successful.
- Present yourself as intelligent and authentic. Avoid all appearances of being a snake-oil salesman. Agents want to work with people they genuinely like. Sometimes we can tell by the query that this is a person we’d enjoy meeting. Obviously, we’ll want to make a more substantial connection with a writer to confirm that sense, but this is what you’re striving for in your query.
- Don’t apologize. Don’t start out with, “I’ve never been published,” or “My agent just dropped me,” or “I’ve submitted my project to every publisher I can imagine, and they’ve all turned me down.” Now, if an agent involves you in conversation about your project, you do need to be forthcoming about these issues, but you don’t need to address them in your query. These confessions come later.
- Tell what the book’s hook is; who the audience is; how you can reach that audience; and a brief paragraph about who you are and why you’re qualified to write the book.
- Be sure to tell what genre or category your book fits in. (Shows you understand what you’re writing and for whom.)
- Tell me the word count. (Informs me as to whether you understand how long a book in your genre or category should be.)
- Don’t forget to mention the title. If that seems obvious, just guess why I’m mentioning it…
Now, just for fun, tell us the first sentence in your query.
Great info this week Janet!
I will admit queries and proposals intimidate me. But I’ll take a stab at a first sentence…
My manuscript Daughter of Light is about a young woman who discovers she is not human and possesses a terrifying gift that can save mankind.
Ella Philips walked on water when she was four-years-old–or so her grandmother says.
Contemporary, Christian fiction.
Dear Sir or Madame:
I would like to introduce you to my first commercial-length novel entitled,******.
This has been such a fun week. Great info!
Here’s mine:
Emmaline sneaks onto a cattle drive bound for the California gold fields desperate to escape an arranged marriage.
I love how we have the opportunity to share our work and see everyone else’s. Thanks.
This is the hook for my finished Christian Historical Romance.
Elizabeth Collins never imagined that she would ever be leading two of her father’s slaves to freedom or starting a new life for herself in Texas until she found herself in a desperate situation. Will she be able to turn to the Lord to get her through the dangers that she is about to face?
I have changed it about 5 times now and I am still not sure if it is catchy.
Well, my first line would be:
Dear Ms. Grant,
I’ve enjoyed meeting you several times at Mount Hermon and I love reading your blog.
Thinking about starting with my strongest point…I wonder if I open this way because that is my strongest point. You don’t know me, but I’ve taken the time to know a little bit about you and I think we might be a good fit. Or maybe I just hate making cold calls and I want to personalize it a bit.
But this brings up a question: When I hang out on agents’ blogs, I feel like I’m on a first name basis with the agents. And yet, I know that many times I feel like I know a writer because I read them every day, but they don’t really know me at all, because I’m just one face in a sea of fans.
So is it acceptable to write to blogging agents and use their first names? Or is it best to still use last names?
This query information is so useful. I’m sharing it with my writers’ group. Thanks!
Sarah wins!
Her first line grabs me the most. I smiled when I read it because I want to know what happens next.
Starting the query with a salutation to the agent, of course, is professional and correct.
Janet or Mrs. Grant? Depending on whether you think she’ll remember you. I met you at Mt. Hermon and remember you, Sally, so using my first name wouldn’t be a problem for me. However, if my memory of Miss Manners is correct, without that first encounter or invitation to use a first name, play it safe and use the Mrs.
Keep in mind, we gain insight into your writing by how you write your query. IMHO, Salena’s sentence is too long. You’re trying to give me too much information in one sentence. Breaking it into several sentences would help.
Sally brings up a good point!
Many of us blog on here often and I start recognizing names of those that get on here quite a bit…how much do the agents remember about those of us they converse with on blog sites? At what point do agents feel comfortable with us being more informal?
Thank you Michelle. 🙂
Thanks! You’re making me feel bold enough to finally send in my full query.
Thanks for answering, Michelle.
Janet,
You are so right. When it comes to queries you Winsome and you Losesome.
Hey…stop booing me people. Who is throwing rotten fruit? That hurts!
LOL @ Michael. 🙂
Thank you for the practical query-writing tips today!
I’ve loved reading others’ first query lines, too. I’m intrigued by many of them!
Here’s the first line of my query for a non-fiction book (after the salutation, of course):
“Do you ache to respond to God’s call on your life with instant servitude – and without hesitation?”
The Babylonian exile is over at long last, and the Jews are gathering in Jerusalem to reinstitute the sacrifice; unfortunately, Jerusha learns it is her pet lamb who will be the sacrifice for her family.
(Okay, so the semi-colon was a semi-cheat on the one-sentence rule. I also seem to be addicted to hypens this morning 🙂 )
Blessings, Voni
I think I got confused with yesterday’s post and this one, as I thought you were talking of queries on Wed. I think typically of nonfiction books only having a full proposal, but you’ve taught me they apply for fiction too.
Good to know. Thanks.
Cheryl
Steve finds a View Master that has visions of his own past and is overwhelmed with joy until he sees the girl he should have asked to the senior prom.
God can be found in anything, but that’s another sentence.
What’s your favorite childhood memory? It might not be the same as mine, but I bet we can all relate to it in some way. And you have to admit, you love telling it.